 Continuation 2007-02-11 . chapter 2These aren't bad, aside from a few obvious grammar errors. Just as a note: you don't need to add "the" to "Mars". It's just "Mars". So, you would say: "I want to touch Mars."
The ideas in this poem are quite nicely done, albeit a bit shoddily organized and I hope you'll be able to keep going with such in depth ideas in the future. Once you get the hang of the organization and grammar side, the rest will be easy for you, I'm sure of it. Keep trying! |
 C.F. Anne 2007-02-09 . chapter 1Great, and I love that you left out the actual career to the end. You gave some clues, but no one really knows. Only thing i have to say is when you say "My only dream is just too difficult for a girl like me/I can fulfill my dream, that’s what I see," They contradict. I'm guessing that you meant by the line was that the job is too difficult for a girl, from the world's standpoint, but the speaker believes she can. Am I correct. Anyway, besides that, I was good. |
 HawkDancer 2007-02-08 . chapter 2I really like this one... It's so poetic and rhyming and thought-provoking... Write more like this!
~Hawky |
 Taiteilijan 2007-01-14 . chapter 1Nice job (i found you on reviewers by the way), A few errors but that might have been intentional. Ok well keep it up! ~ geena |
 StayNight 2006-07-16 . chapter 1you have a very very nice poem.. do you really want to become an astronaut?? XD..
keep at it!! |
 Seasons-Joy 2006-07-12 . chapter 1Wow interesting dream you have...I hope it may come true someday... |
 AliceAnimeLover 2006-05-25 . chapter 1Good poem. I wish your dream will come true. BFF! |
 Jade 2006-05-23 . chapter 1 I like it so far... Wow you really like to be an astronuat?! That's cool... I love the way you use words.Keep writing!
jade_xerina@hotmail.com |