& this is just... come on. perfection.

till i look around

at the time

and realize it's just me

how

dare

you?

It's so blank and numb, yet so powerful :| Agh, I love it!& I love how you STILL manage to throw me off-guard with things like "sweetie" etc suddenly, even though it's in a lot of your stuff. It never fails to work :)Keep it up! *goes to read more*

the opening to this is fascinating.

I like the rhetorical questions and the blankness of the whole thing. The structure is effective too. Nice work.

- gold against the soul

I think the part in parentheses and the "how/dare/you?/how dare you?" lines don't fit that well. I don't know, it seems they just stick out in an awkward way. But I really liked the third stanza, especially the rhythm of "as we used to do/as we still do". Nice job.

Sweet. Wickedly vendictivly sweet. I like it. It was well written and enjoyable. Keep it up. (Writing that way, not feeling that way)