 Some Bold Seer 2006-05-25 . chapter 1This is really funny. Quite clever stuff. Random but not TOO random, and not so random within itself that it doesn't make sense. Good job, I say.I just don't like the last bit. It's much funnier if you tell the story and leave it as is, rather than adding the question-y stuff. Unless there's a specific reason you put that there, I say it's unnecessary.
Good work! |