I'm so glad you updated this. It's so interesting. You capture Marley's character so well, and Ernesto's too. I can see this being made into a movie.

If you don't mind my nitpicks, in chapter two's dialogue a lot of those statements end without punctuation at all...so if you have time you might want to fix that. But otherwise, this is such a compelling story, and I hope you can continue with it. I'm dying to find out what that formula is.

I'm bored so I'm reviewing you. Yes. XD

Work on breaking up your paragraphs, all the words smashed together scared me slightly.

Mike, I'm sad, whatshername left a terrible review on my fic...*sniff* Hahah, she's so pathetic I could--and will--laugh.

As I'm sure I've already told you, cool and slightly disturbing fic.

Zeebian Power!

This is a great first chapter. It is a very good attention grabber. I really like your first line...and a lot of lines after that... ;). The style is consistant and so matter of fact that you just take it all in as truth and prepare yourself for the next bit of information about the apparently steady downfall of our society. I can't wait to read more. Great job!

Sucked less than the other one but still ** sux

Very interesting. It actually sounds like what America will be like someday if it doesnt clean up its act, and i know thats not gonna happen anytime soon. Please continue. Like your story. Hate your cliffie.

Wow! This story was by far the best I have read on this site. It was perfect. Generally I would have a good amount of things to say to change or fix or alter, but this, this has left me with nothing. It is flawless to me and I love it. I loved every bit of it. But I have two question. First, how many time have you revised this? And second, how old are you?

Oh my gosh! This is a very compelling storyline, and I look forward to seeing more of this in the future.

Thank you for your review of my story. You have a point about the CARTA computers. My only answer is that the computers can't kill anyone unless their passenger wills it, but that of course makes them perfect for war. Unless, of course, while reading some bloodthirsty Admiral's mind, the computer began blasting people that the Admiral would not consciously have killed...I don't know. Just rambling on.

Again, awesome story!