FictionPress.com - let the words flow
| FictionPress.com - let the words flow |
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| Jesse the Storyteller 2006-06-13 ch 1,  | abuseYour rhyming seems really strained and awkward, almost like you're more concerned with the rhyming than the telling of the poem. Very angsty. o_O |
| Blehk 2006-05-28 ch 1, | abuseVery angsty. And I hate to use this word...but I can't describe it. It's a tad what they call "emo", and I wish they'd make this into a genre so I'd know what to avoid. The rhythm suffers, but that is easily corrected by getting rid of a few unnecessary words. Also, the rhyme is very forced at some places. When you read a poem, you're not supposed to get the impression that the author was fishing for words that rhyme with the last line. |