(sorry im too lazy to log in! :P) another beautiful piece. i love the line 'You’d like to f i g u r e h e r o u t', the spacing really adds affect. great piece :D

Hey put up some more stuff so that I have more to read...lol.

I wrote another letter, this one to the higherups at fanfiction becuase the sites are connected. Like I told Mike, I have been here for 5+ years and I'll be dammed if I'm going to let some little 14 year old girl harass me and others. I can absoultly guarantee that I offer more respectability, honest constructive reviews, writing with thought and effort put into it, and all around maturity than she does.

I requested that her mean-spirited reviews are removed from those people's stories and poems that didn't get a chance to block her first. She left me one review but it was thankfully anon and I deleted it.

We will see what happens. And again, nice poem. I can't wait to see more stuff from you. ~Krys

Kind of errie, but nice all the same. I really liked the last line and the way it brings forth the hoplessness of the situation. I like the images this brings into my head, though there is no clear scene of action. It is just images blended together to create that errie feeling I mentioned earlier. Congrats on your first post here and it being a success. ;)

~KrysP.S. Fuck kuterlizzy & kutelizzy (same person trying to post the same things under two names and even using the same name for three different stories...). I have seen nothing but flames from this immature little girl. Don't take anything she says to heart. If you don't believe me just check out her profile.

Nice, I don't know if you meant this is your first poem you wrote or the first poem you posted here, but I hardly remember the first poem I wrote. Over the years it got lost until there were no records of it. 'Through My Eyes' ... about my friend's death and an angel. It's one of my greatest regrets, not keeping it on hand to look back upon.

So don't loose track of this poem! The images are great, just needs a little something more. Good start though. Keep writing.

SUCKS

Very interesting, the use of different grammatical concepts is almost...captivating.

For a first poem, this is pretty amazing. =) I look forward to reading more.

~Christine~

this is your first poem? all i can say is holyshit. that's incredible man. my first poem sucked like crazy. i had a million works on here at the beginning, and they sucked a million times over. you're genious if this is your first poem on here. it's great. really well written and has a nice numbhallow feeling to it. really good. keep writing, im watching you.

The mood of the poem is well portrayed. The imagery, especially with the ending line, reminds me of a old black and white photograph; the scene seems so surreal but so tangibly gritty all at once. It does bring interesting thoughts to mind. Nicely written.

The in this piece diction is wonderful. The imagery is nice as well. Although I can’t call the images pleasant, they are entrancing and interesting. I’m not sure you’ve exactly found your footing when to comes to using the bold and italics artistically, but that will come with practice. For a first try, this is very nice. You should be proud of this piece. Keep writing!

Very short but very deep as well. Make them a little big longer next time, it needs a little more substance i think.

Overall I approve ^__^ tis good! I hope to see more