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| vix 2008-07-19 ch 26, anon. | abuselove it! :) |
| rosescharade 2008-06-21 ch 27, | abuseIt was a beautiful story. I hope it still is. =] |
| viennacantabile 2008-05-05 ch 27, | abusethis was just--absolutely beautiful. a definite favorite. would've reviewed each chapter, but just couldn't stop! will definitely read more of your writing! |
| One-Hand Clap 2008-04-19 ch 16, | abuseI didn't get this chapter. What does it mean? That it shifts from past tense to present? Why is THAT necessary? I don't like this chapter because I don't understand it. And I don't see why it's necessary. And I don't know why you needed an '&' instead of 'and'... |
| One-Hand Clap 2008-04-19 ch 15, | abuseI liked this chapter because, again, it's sweet. And, again, it's relatable. However, I don't like how easily this girl's letting herself be pulled into this relationship when all he could do is hurt her again. She's building herself up again. |
| One-Hand Clap 2008-04-19 ch 14, | abuseI think the best thing about this chapter is the subtlely. He takes the hat but gives it back, so that he has a reason to be near her again. It's really sweet. It's almost better than a soppy, gigantic romantic spiel - actually, it is better. It's also, again, highly ingratiated with reality - doing something so normal like bowling and giving each other stupid names. Which I really appreciate about this story. The relatibility. |
| One-Hand Clap 2008-04-19 ch 13, | abuseThis was an interesting chapter. So she decides to keep on seeing him? But she won't let herself get 'picked up' by him again, won't let herself be happy with him, right...? Or maybe she was just saying all that stuff. And she will let herself get picked up again. I liked this chapter for teh humour, first off! Haha, so mysterious rebel guy wears GLASSES? And is hanging with his MUM? Good for him. I guess. It's still funny, though! I like this chapter because it picks up the story from getting OVERLY angsty, if you know what I mean. |
| One-Hand Clap 2008-04-19 ch 12, | abuseThis is a great chapter because it's a bitter revelation on which she lands. And it's kind of sad and jaded. So I don't like it -- but I appreciate that it has to be there for the sake of the story. I thought the line 'my throat screamed raw' was kind of clihe, in a way, and could've been twisted into something different. But I loved the imagery of her wrestling out of her clothes and putting them in a pile, as if wrestling him off of her. |
| One-Hand Clap 2008-04-19 ch 11, | abuseArgh! He ran away again! This is frustratingly like reality, sometimes, because there's not instant confirmation - he ran away from her as soon as she, in some degree, 'declared' herself. He was scared by commitment and left her alone for two weeks. I would've been ** off if I was her, too. The last line is great. You always end on such great notes! "I'll get back to you" "No. You Won't." I also liked the title - it was really clever. |
| One-Hand Clap 2008-04-19 ch 10, | abuseThat was beautiful because it was the message that rang loud and clear: addiction is more constant than love. Beautiful! Seriously! I also liked the mystery behind the love bite/scar incident because if she doesn't know what it is, and it IS a lovebite, chances are he's cheating on her -- and she doesn't care. |
| One-Hand Clap 2008-04-19 ch 9, | abuseI liked this chapter because it reconciled the whole pleasure/pain debate that comes about during sex. I also liked it because of the last line, which really sticks in my mind - You bit my bottom lip until I gasped, and you smiled. Amazing. |
| One-Hand Clap 2008-04-19 ch 8, | abuseGah! He stole her car!? That's not cool. I loved this chapter because - well, I'm finally beginning to care more than a little about these characters. They're growing on me. But I thought the sentence 'Lewis Carrol's cat's got nothing on you' was a tad clumsy. It was clunkily made. I think a more brief sentence would've been more effective. But then, saying 'The Cheshire cat's got nothing on you' would've just seemed completely random. So I'm at a loss. Maybe your line was better. |
| One-Hand Clap 2008-04-19 ch 7, | abuseThe bluntness of the chapter is really what makes it worthwhile. For a moment, though, I didn't get it because you didn't include the chapter title in the actual story, so I read it as (silly, silly girl) and was kind of like, "er... what?" It took me a moment before I realized the chapter title, etc. So I'd suggest you change this up a little bit. Change it somehow, although I don't know how. I'm speaking nonsense because I'm tired and faitgued by this review marathon thing I'm doing. Ech. Sorry. I think I've, rather clumsily, made myself clear, however. Okay. |
| One-Hand Clap 2008-04-19 ch 6, | abuseAw. That was kinda cute, wasn't it? You could practically FEEL how uncomfortable he was, apologizing. I liked the use, also, of 'red light/green light' - a children's game, as if what they're playing is ALSO a kid's game. It was really sweet. And relateable (just had to throw that in, didn't I?) |
| One-Hand Clap 2008-04-19 ch 5, | abuseHaha! She got him back! I love it! It was interesting, defenintely, the WAY she got him back, though - enfeebled him the way he did to her. Through film and subtely, refusing to answer questions and evasiveness. Just like he did! Lovely. |