That is something really different.

So, you were born two days before Halloween?

Or is this about someone else?

Either way,

this is a neat little thing.

Intresting poem. However i don't like how you set up the stanzas. Since when you put a line in a different stanza it shouldn't really end the last line of the stanza before it. Aslo you seemed to get a little off topic when you put in parenthesis. in my opinion it ruins the mood a writter is trying to portray.

that would of been cool to have been born on halloween! thats my fav holiday ever!

SarahJane

this is amazing. i love the enjambment and the feeling of loss/upset that it creates. really nice job.

xoxocasey

Forgetting what? Always having your birthday forgotten? Like kids who have a birthday near Christmas, and are cursed with half as many gifts?

I like this new style of yours (or an old style of yours that I'm not used to). The style of yours I'm used to makes me think of a girl in sunglasses reading rhythms at a poetry cafe. Both are good, I like this one too, I don't know how to explain how it's different, but it feels like it is.

I'm unsure if you're using the dashes to break up stanzas or if you really want them there; if you're having a problem with formatting on the fictionpress editor, trying hitting backspace, so that two lines run together, then shift enter so that lines are closer 're doing this on purpose.

Hmm...you're a Scorpio..(5 or my closest friends also are, two of my ex partner-type people are, and it's all a bit convenient..maybe it's the crustacean influence of the stars :P or something strange like that..crab and scorpion...well at least I can walk sideways!)

hah, anyways, the first stanza seems really conversational and prosy. It's not that it has no rhythm, it's more your tone of voice, it's quite inviting.

It leaks into the following stanzas but they seem more connected. I was kinda merrily bouncing along until I came to the 'twenty year old skin' part, that grabbed me.

The whole thing is inviting, conversational and almost fable-ish? I dunno, it's warm..then that last stanza (more specifically the final line) really binds it and leaves you with that feeling of just being wrapped in poetry, that the other stanzas might not have had without the last line or so. Hmm, interesting Dr. Jones!

truly

wow that was amzing! you are awesome at what you do... i can only hope that one day ill be this good

i love the whole flow from preyou to you as a kid to you now... sad ending... awesome piece

lovely...I love the straightforward, honest feel about it. It makes every word sound like something precious.

this has a very definite atmosphere and it is really good. i like your style.

[When I was still inside my mother, / who at that point was ready to pop / the doctor told her that I would be] Comma after "pop."

[and walked our Brittany / dog Spike up,] Is "Brittany" a type of dog or something? If so, I don't think it needs to be capitalized. And as cliche as the name Spike and Spot are for dogs, I've yet to meet a single person who really named his/her dog that.

[creation of the neighborhood / which my parents had always / referred to as the ‘ghetto’)] Cute and funny.

[I was two days shy of the doctor’s prophecy.] Very cool line; very Faithless-Juliet sounding.

[the fuzzy stairs in] Fuzzy stairs! I love fuzzy stairs. Hard wood stairs suck.

This is a cute poem; it really does read more like a story than a poem. It's a lot more simple and straight-forward than most of your poetry. I kinda miss the Faithless-Juliet complexity.

It's a little odd that this poem is posted in May, when it's talking about Halloween and autumn. I'm wondering if you wrote this several months ago but just didn't post it, or if some random thing made you think ahead to Halloween.

Not one of my favorites, but still a good poem.

i was a bit confused at the end...is she a witch or something supernatural? and wut does she not want to forget? btw, were u the one who reviewed my poem ACCEPTANCE? do u mind reading and reviewing my story LIVE NO MORE? i realli need revies for an english term project. thnx.

This was really interesting, and refreshing to see something so original in a drudge of whiny teenage angst love poetry. You're a good writer. Keep it up!

This is really great. Sincerely. It was intersting, in a very good way. Anyway, great job.

Bull Shark

Nice musing.