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| QueenCria 2006-05-31 ch 1,   | This is really interesting. I like the ideas and the themes and your writing has a great tone. Just offer some critiques, at points it got a little muddles. I know that's par for the course when you're writing someone's thoughts, essentially, but I got a little confused at points. You also might want to consider developing the reason behind her father's change more. It's a great twist and the scenes ars nice, but why? Anyway, I like this a lot. Good work. |