FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| clockwork Kiss 2007-09-28 ch 1,  | abusei love the last line. you're a great poet, i'm suprised (and sorry) i've never read you before (i've been going through your other stuff too tonight). i think you might be my new favorite. anyways. sounds like a girlfriend trying to get attention to me. but it's relevant. and completely to the point, clear, and still lyrical. great work. |
| ChildeOfChaos 2007-03-08 ch 1, | abuseWow, such a powerful poem. I love you last line, it is very effective and creative as well. Great write, I loved it. Nice use of imagery and wonderful job portraying the emotion in this piece. |
| Manuel Fajar 2006-12-24 ch 1, | abuseInteresting metaphor--soft tears shredding like hot steel. Emotive force and physical force equivalence,--well if energy and matter are one, then ... Why not? And, is not emotion (both love and hate= the only real glue that binds men or women one to the other? m |
| sunshower 2006-11-04 ch 1, | abusewow, that's really powerful. The last line is particularly effective, and sums up the content perfectly. |
| sunday night sky 2006-10-28 ch 1, | abuseA great piece... I thought it was going to cliched when I read 'black tears' but, thankfully, it didn't turn out that way! Original and beautiful. Lovely. :D |
| LancerDragoon 2006-08-14 ch 1, | abuseI'm going to avoid saying one of those cliched lines, you know, like "This is great! I love it! Keep it up!" Oh wait, too late. However, they do echo how I feel about the poem. It's wonderfully written, even if the subject is, well, painful. Great format, great rhythm (the start-stop thing is awesome) and... and... Wow, I ran out of words. Love this. (There I go again.) Great job. |
| the naked civil servant 2006-07-07 ch 1, | abusejesus the brushstrokes. the stopstart. the GLORY. that is beautiful. that is legendary. the last line echoes like GUNSHOTS. salt. shrapnel. are my eyes in place? |
| simpleplan13 2006-06-10 ch 1, | abuseI love this.. the whole tear thing is awesome as is the ending |
| MR.SEAN 2006-06-01 ch 1, | abusethat last line is very wicked... I LIKE! |