The last line was the line that just made the whole piece of exquisite writing all the more compelling.

Ok, my lovely. About revenge, or a love that has a revenge in seek of parley.. (also prob doesn't help that i've drank so much either lol) I like it though, confusing, yet... refreshing. BRAVA!!

Dani

i think this would read better in stanza format, but then again having said that this gives the effect of writing on a note. the kind you find, with no title or anything.

I like this. I think I get what you're trying to say, that you've been trying to put your situation/feeling about someone into a poem...but they're so 3d they're hard to compress into words. well yeah I can relate to that.

its good, its sweet, unique and just...works well.

Interesting bunch of words, I like.

Wow, amazing work. I love some of the phrases in here: "broken boy promises," "self pity on dirty white phone cords." I love that last line. So perfect. Keep writing! :)

You're such a wonderfully fresh writer! Love the first sentance, which almost produces an image of fake, imagined, perhaps fantastical love. As for the last line... perfectly illustrates your way with words!

Matt

perfect.