|Reviews for E3: Earth's Elite Enforcers|
| AppleDumplings 1/1/13 . chapter 4
Awesome story so far! You're good with detais. I couldn't help but laugh at some of the names, however. Andrew Andrews, Billy Bob? Ah wells, keep up the good work! AND UPDATE! GOSH NABBIT!
| Lady Kiri 2/22/10 . chapter 2
Kelvin is AWESOME! I was screaming "YES!" as soon as I read, "Her head exploded in a shower of blood." 'Cause I had a feeling things were going downhill from there. Kelvin's fairly level-headed if you ask me. Showing restraint by blowing up only one classroom.
| Lady Kiri 2/20/10 . chapter 1
Very interesting prologue. It was kind of different to read a story that 'began' with a birth (which you portrayed very well, I might add).
I also like the fact that Dr. Anderson is allowing Richard and Regina to have some time with their son before he starts training him.
When Kelvin's parents got hit by a car suddenly, I mentally whispered, "Oh crap..." Nice juxtaposing a fun event with a tragic one. Love Kelvin's style of revenge.
Oh really random about roasting (human) flesh...it smells like pot roast.
Until Next time
| Luna the wolf dancer 12/20/09 . chapter 1
I like this story, honest truth here, but again this felt like a chapter then a prologue to me, is Kelvin Richard's son Daniel?
| Jirun 11/17/09 . chapter 4
So i read all your chapters. I hope, i can express my thoughts about them correct in English ;)
The world you create/created seems quite nice to me and has a lot of potential. Sometimes you go to much in detail expression about the landscape/surroundings, but i know thats just my personal style of reading, i HATE long sentences with no action. Anyway it is good for the storyline and the world you are about to create, so i can overlook it. In my opinion the only big mistake you do is that you do not re-read your story enough. I know its boring as hell to re-read a story you wrote yourself, but its absolutely necessary that you do so. because simple punctuation mark mistakes can rip apart the entire reading pleasure, because you have to re-read the sentence to understand what you (as the writer) want to say ;)
Hope this helps and you understand what i wrote
| 0981-Gunner 10/9/06 . chapter 4
Sorry I took so long to review. Please keep the story going, it's good.
Asians and Africans discouraged to join the Army? Is this taking place in America? What's the date? I don't know if you've seen or met with an Army recruiter before, but I have, and they'll take anyone into the Army, unless you're retarded, have a physical disability, have broken too many laws, or are too young.
Where the heck do people get 'huge automatic rifles'? Im pretty sure it's illegal to own an automatic rifle. You can only have a semi-automatic with a twenty round mag max I believe. Try replacing the rifles with, oh I don't know, pistols maybe.
"His voice had groan rough and hoarse, like wind blowing over sandpaper."-doesn't make sense... I've worked with sandpaper, and when wind blows over it... it doesn't do anything.
"Raymond grinned, amused. “Well, I’m trying to gather others like us, others who can serve the mutant cause and wreck vengeance on the very human society that hates and reject us.” He leaned closer. “All that talk about us being abominations and unnatural and dangerous are just bullshit.”"-so let me guess, these are the bad guys? I found this line to be funny. They want to destabilize human society by killing humans because humans think they're dangerous... hmm... yep, then going and killing other humans will prove that they're not dangerous... yeah that'll do the trick.
And this Sandra girl is a b*%ch. The Tony kid too..
"Unfortunately, the tornado had also sucked in a limitless amount of sand, which was whipping around at incredible speeds.
Unfortunately, it wasn’t the only tornado."-Repetitive use of the word 'Unfortunately'.
Humans (at least, in the US) are a lot more tolerable nowdays. I can see 'anti-mutant protestors' if this really happened, but I can't see them murdering because of it... unless they're being controlled somehow. Is there not ONE normal kid in the bunch of them? You know, one who feels GUILTY when he kills someone, and feels that killing people isn't exactly the way to go? You know, a GOOD guy. 'cause most of your characters as of yet are... bad guys. They kill innocent people and they don't care for anybody who gets caught in the crossfire.
Other than that... keep it going and post the next chapter soon.
| Niki Tori 9/30/06 . chapter 2
This chappie was very funny. Ms. Dursley went KABOOM! Head in nowhere land! Haha! Like I said before this chappie was KAAWESOME! I think I am going to love this story forever. It is so superhero-ie...whatever that means. THIS STORY ROCKS!
Well until the Next Chappie!
| Niki Tori 9/23/06 . chapter 1
WHOA! This Intro...WOW. And it's SCI-FI! This was so good! No crappin'this was freaking awesome! This was reall good! Well until I calm down...
| Darket 9/7/06 . chapter 2
I'm suprised I finished that chap. That was a long one... Those take a while to finish. It was pretty decent though, I liked it. I read in your profile and you are from Singapore? My grandparents visited that country about 50 years ago or something like that. It was part of their world round trip. I heard something in English, and I've never been able to find the answer. I've asked Marines, travellers, and never got an answer. So I'll ask one who lives in Singapore. Is it true that people in Singapore take such great care of the streets that if you throw trash or spit gum on the streets they'll throw you in prison? Just wonderin'...
| Darket 9/4/06 . chapter 1
Finally lets me review! good work, thank you for reviewing all my stories (Nightmare Code with Revolution-Zero is mine too) and I'm glad to send a review back. I'll make sure to read chapter two as soon as I can, I don't really get much free time anymore. See you around
| Charming Dice 8/26/06 . chapter 2
Sure is a lot of racism in this chapter, huh? You could say this is another superhero story, but I like the way you show Kelvin's day to day life. That's what makes it different, at least from super hero stories I've read.
Anyway, I saw that you write some ok fight scenes. I'm trying to form a group of writers to collaborate and create action stories with. There's this group called aka Meteor-Infinity that kinda inspired me to do this. If you wanna see what I'm trying to do, just look at their profile.
Now to the point, I was wondering if you're any good at writing fight scenes? If so, just e-mail me a little sample of your skills. Maybe a fight scene with two of your favorite characters fighting. No dialogue necessary. I don't care if its Batman and Superman, Goku and Vegeta, or your own original characters (though I'd prefer original). All of that is just to see if we'd fit together well.
I wanted to do all types of acion stories. From action/comedy to action/romance to action/fantasy to action/anything else.
My e-mail address is in my profile. I hope you're interested.
Either way, good luck with your writing.
| Phoenixfire 7/7/06 . chapter 3
I hope that you keep writing so that I can keep reading. Your story rocks.
| 0981-Gunner 6/23/06 . chapter 3
I found some spelling errors in here, but I'm sure you could find them in a spellcheck or something.
Couple things I didn't like, but it's just my opinion. Kelvin is way too strong. I mean, he took out an entire bar of mutants without so much as a landed punch on his body. The only real way he can get hurt, is if he lets others hurt him. I don't like 'invincible' characters. They're still human. Show that.
And jeez, are all mutants sex-crazed murderers? They're all crazy. Is there not one generally decent person in the bunch of them? If they all really act this way, I'd have to side with the anti-mutant protestors.
By the way, this story is NOT rated K, I'd say it's rated M, especially wtih the rapes going on.
Also, you mentioned that Kelvin couldn't get a drink unless he was 18. I know for a fact that if you live in some parts of Europe, the drinking age is 16. I also know for a fact that the drinking age in the United States is 21. So unless this takes place in some place like Denmark or the Czech Republic, the drinking age is NOT 18. Or maybe it takes place in Canada, but even in Canada some provinces have the drinking age at 19.
Finally, if you don't know, Kid Omega was a mutant that's super smart, has psionic energy, telepathy, and has telekinesis. Hence my thinking that Kelvin was based off of him.
| 0981-Gunner 6/19/06 . chapter 2
Wow, the prologue and chapter was intense. That was kick &*%, especially Kelvin. I don't know whether you're a big Marvel fan, but that Kelvin seems a lot like Dark Phoenix with a little Kid Omega mixed in. I mean, seriously, the kid is twisted. And is the Dursley teacher and her brother based on the Dursley family in Harry Potter? I'm pretty sure they have the same name. But the brother seems... nicer...
I'm thinking this Kelvin guy is the "bad" guy in the story. Well, not exactly "bad", but a little too radical in his beliefs, like Magneto is.
I seriously hope that you don't/didn't attend a school that treats Asians like that. I'm Asian myself, and while I have experienced racism, it was nothing like this. Where I live, the number of Asians and Philipinos actually equal if not surpass the number of Caucasians, so there's no racism here. When does this story take place?
| Aneedegorarose 6/17/06 . chapter 2
Wow! Really well written, can't wait to read more!