oh my god, perfect. everything about your writing. you're amazing. this is like everything i try to write but can't. (just a question- i saw the petition you have on your main page, & i've never heard of that situation before- can you explain it to me if you have time? email me, paperthinxhymn@gmail.com. thanks!!)

It started to get better a little over halfway. A lot better. Lines like "on whether he'd fit into your skin and grow the same grin" and "fastened against your revolutionary mind" turned a relatively mediocre poem into something worthy of my favorite's list. =P

There's some understated rhyming here, and that's always nice to see, though some of the metaphors and comparisons are a bit eccentric and jumbled, like "but the rain is quilting us in/ crystals chiming against my ragged breath." I also don't approve of the "-no/ _" thing you've got going on, but it's not a big problem. I'd rather see an imaginative failure than a dull one.

All in all an interesting, original poem.

I love how you choose all the right descriptive words. Like 'charging' 'unfortunate' 'dislodged'. I love that. It creates gorgeous imagery without excess wordiness. I wish I could write poetry like that, but I'll settle to read it instead. ;)

this is really really good :] i love it.

Beautiful. Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. I absolutely adore your writing style.

This poem felt somewhat depressing to me, like the narrator's ability to trust has been negatively affected by a previous relationship, and she's wondering whether it's worth it to trust this guy, too.

Wonderful work. Keep it up.

um, way to get even more fantastic and stellar and thoroughly amazing while i was m.i.a.! the things you create with this... five million shades of appreciation for the sheer existence of your poetry in me right now. I should stop complimenting before you blush, right? : )I have so many poems to catch up on -glee!-oh oh and i just wrote one and you have to really tell me what you think (please!) because your opinion helps!

"Making me ponder over the factthe maybethe ifon whether he'd fit into your skin and grow the same grin"

just sheer goodness.

Absolutely gorgeous. Truly.

Your use of words is perfection. Every word is a delight to read.

I don't know how you meant it to sound, but these similes: "like ivy against your collar, an itch draped across your back or snakes charging past the folds of your handsand the slope on your shoulderspinning off into the atmosphereundeterred." Felt quite awkward to me - not quite right, and I thought that went really well with the tone of the poem.

There were a few phrases that really made me smile as I read it: "slightly bruised, and smelling sweetly of june." "whether he'd fit into your skin and grow the same grin." "the rain is quilting us."

And the end is perfect. Gorgeous poem. Such poetry.

Marvelous weaving of the concrete and abstract to create a lyrical flow that captures the words. Too many wonderful phrases and word runs in this to exemplify just one, but a spinning gem all the way through. Great write.

Wow... this was beautiful. Descriptions were gorgeous and painted such a perfect picture with all the green images. Well done x

God, oh so gorgeous!Beyond beautiful, you've painted a lovely image in my mind, amazing poem.

Like a painting half done and water colored - beautiful line. i love the creative mixture of words in here. nice work.

This is wonderful piece; the description and flow is fantastic (and I love the sutble rhymes that I nearly didn't notice xD) Love the way you crafted the words. Keep it up.

i LOVE the way you write. it's with such emotion, such imagery, such awareness of the human feelings. i adored this. really and truly.

especially that last line - it meant so much to me. it almost left a tear in my eye just because of how it was emphasised and...i don't know how to comment.

'like a painting half down... but you love it anyway' - loved that. created feelings of unwant and neglect for me but they were good images of these things - such as people wanting the neglected people. anyway i'm rambling.

i just loved this so much. i'm adding it to my favourites

Interesting piece, I love the little questions woven into it. The ending is gorgeous and the descriptions are understated and beautiful. Nice work.