The way this is written is perfect. I really like it. Going in my favorites!

Beautiful! Bravo!

I must read all your other works as well. But they can't be as great as this.

Oh, my god. This is amazing. I love the way you incorporated different descriptions in this to paint a picture of the scene in my head. As the poem goes on it's like you're slowly, sadly realizing what it's about. I LOVE this.

That last line is beyond hard-hitting.

And "he laugh-tracks".

I would kill to write like this. It's beautiful, in such an ugly-reality way.

he laugh-tracks as

her mouth begs no

as if she hasn’t spent her life

with the exact same word on her lips

& why should now matter?

she’s brought it on herself.

i know i should probably be writing this anonymously but this... - the last lines :|

i am in incandescent AWE. it's so sickening & scary, you make me want to curl up & forget forever. i am so TIRED OF STARING INTO MIRRORS :):|:P:|:|:|

i think you have the tangibility down. even with the things that should be surreal, i.e., guilt dripping like grease -- and that was such a perfect comparison, that thick unpleasantness that you couldn't swallow around if you wanted to.

also the verbphrase, "he laugh-tracks", has my full and utter attention. ah, yes, i like it.

let you know? i'll let you know:this is awesome! really really good! so well written, so nice, the words, the lines, the stanzas... real good. : )