That was really a very beautiful poem. I love the tone of the poem, how everything seems sombre yet hopeful, like those ight-before-dawn feelings you get. Or maybe that's just me.
Back to the poem, I loved the lines 'but I never stopped to ask you your forgiveness'
Your punctuation is amazing, it makes the poem flow even more than it would. Your rhythm doesn't skip or miss at all. There's a slow, steady beat surrounding this entire piece that makes you want to cry because it seems so tragic.
Only it's not.
Good luck to you and the girl.

you are amazing. i've just spent the last half hour reading your work and i am breathless. i adore everything you write. i hope you know that. amazing.

wow..."would have laced flowers in my hair" and "- growing growing gone"...those lines were clever and ohsopretty at the same time...and the last line "paris waits" sounds ohsolonging...i love it...you did a really good job...


truly yours...

Very beautiful.. due to watching to much Gilmore Girls I thought you meant Paris as a girl... "now your words cultivatethe garden of my stomach- growing growing gone"gah i envy your talent.

'once, the sound of your voicewould have laced flowers in my hairnow your words cultivatethe garden of my stomach- growing growing gone' i.love. that part. it's just so poetic & ohso beautiful.

"paris waits". so very pretty. like starlit cafes and writers everywhere.

i love it.

"now your words cultivate / the garden of my stomach." perfect.

GOOD GOD. that is so gorgeous, all of it. it's so... SERIOUS :|

i love it. the last 4 lines are perfection. the similes... the imagery... the GORGEOUSITY...

you are a legend.

far out, this is just amazing. the lines: 'would have laced flowers in my hair/now your words cultivate the garden of my stomach' sent shivers down my spine.you are so talented, keep writing.

i absolutely love this. beautiful.

I'm easily inspired at 4 in the morning, but I really did like this.I doubt me and mine will ever make it as far as 'paris'. It was nice to think of the possibility though. Thank you.

this is beautiful& delicate, 'your words cultivate/ the garden of my stomach'. i can't even describe it, but i love it.

I like it. It's very beautiful, and I love the Paris theme.