I like this enough. It simple, concise and direct. I really like the ending and the general feeling portrayed. However the best I can say is that there is a huge improvement from this to your recent poems. Don't get me wrong, this was pretty good. I'm just really glad you got way better in the...like 4 years? since you've published this.

That was deep, and your similes and analogies were nice. Great job...

M, s'il vous plaît arrêter de parler français. S'il vous plaît!

Inexplicably, I felt very tired reading this. It was inviting, but also frightening. A lovely piece.

This piece starts and finishes so effortlessly. At the end, I was a bit sad that it was over, but the greatest things end too soon.

"There is nothing to keep me here

But the sad flicker of a smile"

That part is so beautiful.

What an interesting way to look at various items. If not for this poem, I wouldn't have taken a moment to [silently] thank the objects that make my life easier.

This is just amazing, simply. I re-read it several times. There were parts I couldn't stop reading.

"And I, so caught up in the gray bustle of the day,

Had little of my mind to pay it."

That feels so real.

This is a very sexy piece, in my opinion. The words were dripping sensuality. The way the lines felt on my tongue as I whispered them were intruiging. The whole poem is amazing, although brief.

My very favorite of all. I can so easily relate. I love your writing style. Very good. Kudos!

Wow! This is really good. Great discription! And very differnt from all other poems I have read. Most don't deal with going to bed. I really liked the two lines Before my eyes. "Tumbling down a sloping descant, into…/Blackness rising in a muzzy tangle. A jarring note…" Awesomeness! Great job and well done!

Beautifuly Written! I really liked the lines "There is nothing to keep me here/But the sad flicker of a smile" You can feel the loniness and the feeling of not belonging. You used the beach as a simially as well as told a story. Great job!

Interesting. You continued using one thing to describe the issue at hand instead of 50 different things…. I like it. Unfortunately there are many people who lack the ability to communicate the issues they feel at hand… your poem is an all to common occurrence. Anywhoo… Good detail and well done

hi! again!

i like this one. i had to think about it to try and make sense of it, instead of just skimming through. good job!

anyways, i also wanted to point out something in the reviews of my poems. in a semi-recent one, you said "i didn't know you had a fictionpress account", but if you look at reviews prior to that, half of them are from you. therefore, you are a silly, silly boy. just to tell ya.

i also have a photo of you in an apron. muahahahaha. a silly, silly, silly-looking boy. yesh.

I like the slightly cynical tone.

"A shivering orphan draped in singing jewels" - very cool, very powerful. Makes me like this piece very much.

Lonliness is a lot of places like this.

Just about perfect picture of this lonliness.

I especially liked the surf singing "never, never"

That's *exactly* how I feel most days. Like someone filled your bones with lead, yeah? Very nice.

Also, you spelled the name of the previous poem wrong. It's l-o-n-*E*-l-i-n-e-s-s. It was bugging me.