Reviews for Ashland, Kentucky

Tytherpol 2007-03-24 ch 1,	abuseReally cool. I don't understand the last line. Sorry. I hate being ignorant, but yeah. The imagery and stuff is really good, though. Whoah. ~Sara.
Halli Lote 2006-06-12 ch 1,	abusei really like it, especially the line "the ash still falls in ashland". i'm not quite sure why i like that one particularly, but i do. good job!
holocaustpulp 2006-06-08 ch 1,	abuseForcing rhymes is a lesson that I'm now learning, but managed to get around at times (for better or for worse...). However, this poem doesn't seem capable of making up its mind - free verse, or rhymthic? Personally, I would go for the former. Now, you've made quite a nifty piece here - at first I didn't even catch your wonderful metaphors for (presumably) factory smoke. Both your beginning and end are strong, I believe, although that rhyming deal interferes with the impact of your message when the poem finishes. Two things I didn't understand: the people bathing, and the moths. I saw later that you made Ashland into a moth (due to its abundant pollution), which is a very vivid image. Is the original moth reference related in any way...? These are some things to comtemplate when you revise... and I do recommend revision, even though I used to be adamently against it. However, the emotion and images (also, I might note, your use of America's complacency to this issue) should remain, and elaborated upon if at all possible. You have the idea, now execute it perfectly. - HP