Wow. What's going to happen to them? This seems so real...I wonder if DEFACS is really that bad. I like the writing style and can't wait to see what happens.

Thanks for your review. Yeah, Vlad can be a jerk. You'll see in the next chapter...

-Xerophyte

Still sad. You think they're all heroes, doing the work they do, until you see it from the point of view from someone split up from their family. So, so sad ...

I can't really think of anything else to say. Not a lot of noticable grammatical errors (none that I noticed), so good there. Hope you can continue this!

Felicite at your service...

So sad. I feel for the main character already. This prologue is quite emotional and pulls you right into the story. So, you did very well there. And I can't really talk about characterization, because you haven't had long enough to do much of it yet. ^^

Intriguing. I'm off to the next!

Thanks for the reviews! (Him) Update? Did you think it was a story? I really only meant it as a one-shot. If you want to find out more about Zora, read Zora Ink; Vampress of the Night, because that's her story. All 20 chapters of it. That I'm currently re-writing. Anywho, I wasn't planning on making it longer, so ... maybe I'll have to, now. But I don't really want to make a sequel for ZI ... I'm done with it for now. It was hanging because that's how it ended. End o' story.

(Destruction by Butterfly) Did you get the title? I just thought it was fun. I like the last line, too ...

Thanks again!

Felicite at your service...

Ouch. You earned your title there...that really is a nightmare. Good job writing such sympathetic characters, I felt actually bad for them...a lot of times, writers tend to overdo it on the angst. The chapters were a little short, but that's not a huge problem. Overall you have a great story going here.

But "cold, dreary Ohio"? That's just mean. :(

OOH!! This is really really really good!! I love it so far! It's so good! I LOVE! Update soon! And this time I'll review sooner!! Hee hee. It's just so wonderful!

Great Job! First I appreciate the review on Kiddo the second chpt. is coming soon. But on to you! Brilliant ideas and great wording. All I suggest is adding a tad more description on certain things.Otherwise beautifully done. Keep the spirit of writing alive and let the words flow!

Hi! I read your review on my story "Daria" (Thanks for it, by the way) and you said you wanted advice on your stories, so here goes... First, this is a great beginning. I read through both chapters, and the plot is solid. I like the emotions and wording, but I do have a few suggestions. Firstly, I'd suggest you try making it a bit more discriptive. For instance, in Chapter One, try adding a bit more to the sentences. Ex. "On my seventh birthday, my parents split up," could be, "Everything started on my seventh birthday, when my parents split up." Try adding in a bit more emotion to that particular paragraph and explain more about the character's personal feelings than just the events - I'm being kind of hypocritical here, considering I did the same thing with parts of Daria's story, I know... ^^' I did like the way you began this, FYI. The first line grabs the audience and it describes - at least so far - the story very well. This is a great work, so keep writing it! I can't wait for the next update!