i love this chapter the most. the title is interesting...although not sure why it's called that. the words were just woven together so meticulously. nice work.

this poem has a great flow to it. the last line. "someday, sometime" adds that effect.

i notice shadows again. hmm.

"i hope for your misery"- that struck me as unusual.

great ending, though.

"a candle lit by the stars

by thursday, i was chasing cars

tears stream down my face

a moth trapped in lace"

i was crying last thursday, maybe it was for you ;)

I loved that! You're style ressembles Sylvia Plath's poems alot. you have a ntural rhythm that emphasizes the main points, very well done.

Wow, the rhythm in this piece is absolutely fantastic. I don't know how you did that, but it's great. I love the image of the "pink shattered mirrors." Original and striking. Great piece. Keep writing! :)

i love the idea about the clouds crying themselves dry. and "we are a cycle on repeat..." i know something just like that. gorgeous last line.

this is a very pretty, unusual format. and it feels like good advice. beautiful writing.

I love, love love the freeverse prose on the second chapter. My favourite part was the description of the clouds...very thoughtful.

Also, the pink shattered mirrors really were a good idea.

love it. i liked the repetition of the 'pink shattered mirrors' and the idea of digging...

as usual, the imagery of your work is beautiful and i love the description that you use.

nice work!

This gives me the feel of a rhyme which children would recite or sing-song as they skip down a country lane, or sing to each other in the dark to scare the smaller ones. Like a nursery rhyme with a basis in a darker reality than a childs world, the adults smile and sigh as the children sing, but flashes of fear dart across their faces as they recall why the words are thus.

Your piece is almost delirious in it's attempted innocence, or perhaps i mis-interpret, maybe delighting in the knowledge that some will sing along, and some will shy away in fear.

Good poem.

'aptmyn, aptmyd, aptmyae, batditwwshfh'

Aquafied! I haven't read anything from you in ages. I've missed it.

While this isn't my favourite piece of yours, it is still full of the original, beautiful and haunting imagery that I love you for. Lovely piece.

My favourite line has to be:

'i am not so comforting but just remember, every candle lit is a hand full of flowers on a bad day.

go on.'

A wonderful closing line.

"file of deaths"

echoes and haunts

"truthfully, we are all selfish but love could not be that way without it."...beautifully thought provoking

this has great rhythum and images and yeah wow

very sad. deeply so. and relentless. the inner rhymes work beautifully.

love, .

Bizarre, because I can't touch your friend's memory (but I can believe it, and is that all that matters, when it comes to it?)

(I remember too, and I'm sorry for not being punctual, education is like a big hairy dominatrix and I'm having issues making my poems behave)

j