wow. i love the title and the last two lines were just beautiful. you have a definite talent for poetry!

First strophe is decent, "rainfreckled windows" being full-on decent imagery.

However, this falls apart into bathos & cliches; though you can justify the use of a cliche such as "tomorrow's the end of the world" as dialogue (though it is detrimental when a phrase that isn't cliched could be used to express the same sentiment), your description of "eyes hooded and hand thrown over mine" can't be justified as such.

The last strophe is trite. The caterpillar/butterfly thing is a complete cliche, & it's only heightened by the melodramatic mention of a "master". I suggest you toss the last two strophes out & try to conclude the poem in an original, interesting way.

This made me cry. Granted, I've been feeling overemotional lately, but this is *me*. This is how I'm feeling. 'rainfreckled' was amazing, but what did it was "tomorrow's/the end of the world". Must go cry more. `~bella~`

O...

Siddhartha anyone?

I like this a lot, especially the 'rainfreckled windows'. The whole poem has a nice rainy day, nostalgic feel to it.

Not sure I like the structure of the last stanza though. I love the idea, perhaps so change-up with that. Just throwing some ideas out -

1. what the caterpillar calls apocalypse, / the master calls butterfly.

or 2. what the caterpillar calls the apocalypse, / the master calls the butterfly.

or 3. I whisper, what the caterpillar calls apocalyspe, / the master calls butterfly.

(+ favorites)

Kelle

Just the way this was written made it wonderful. Just something about it was...great.

delicate, dark, and carefree horror.