Reviews for Just You and I - FictionPress.com

Reviews For: Just You and I

life like whoa 2006-11-29 ch 1,	abuse"The laughing of the singing stream Holds no candle to your laugh" Definitely my favorite line. It paints such a picture in my mind. It's so pretty. I LOVE reading your work. Keep writing so I can keep reading and reviewing! (ps. this is Diary of a Teenage Failure / We All Fall Down) I changed my pen name again, and I'm terribly sorry that it's been such a long time since I've reviewed you last. I didn't have a computer for the longest time, but I'm back and ready to catch up so get ready! haha.
angelfromurnightmare 2006-11-04 ch 1,	abuseaw this is adorable :] speaks for a lot of happy couples, and your emotions show clearly in your writing without you having to explicitly explain and describe them. Excellent writing, as usual :) keep it up!
Shara G. 2006-06-13 ch 1,	abusePeaceful and pretty. Something I might want to go back and read again.
Vas Da Gama 2006-06-12 ch 1,	abuseSimple.Peaceful.Pretty.:o)A perfect picture of a moment of bliss.
Faye Coon 2006-06-12 ch 1,	abuseUh, I'm unsure of what I'm reading, well not unsure but more... disoriented. That's only because of the presentation of the subject matter, it dosn't seem to fit the Authors assumed being. In my opinion first impressions, as well as interpretations are very important in the poets world. As in my poetry I enjoy using contrast to present o9ther feelings and dillemas, as in 'Get what I want' I will use some pieces of elegance and others trashy, embodiments of Courtney Love. I like that...can you see how it pushes away the steel framed poet dorks, yet is to abstract and elegant for angsty faux-life-loving-hating teenage emo (denial) nothings? My poetry is made to crash parties. Made to make them abstract, made to trip on, to think about, or take in contrasting images... But as for 'Just you and I' - The poem has no underlying, deep meaning, so Im assuming simplicity was the goal. I receieved an image in my head, but the image was weak, and the words you used through most of this piece were too passive. I sense no power or assertion in this piece, not to down the actual moment being presented, it just wasn't elegantly presented, it lacked meaning an feeling, being only a gesture, faintly described. You would do better to investigate Haiku, before you attempt to glamourize such a possibly beautiful moment, in walgreens brand makeup. No explanation. No excuse. Nothing can ever make up for what you have already done. I do not mean that in a harsh way, but and Ingrid-inspired way. BTW David Bowie kicks **... my line, 'he dresses like a queen' is actualy from one of his other songs, so I guess your in tune. Ciao -Coon

Return to Top