| Reviews for Escape Reality |
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Ryan Schiff 11/15/06 . chapter 1Before I even started reading this poem, I thought one thing: Needs punctuation. Commas are a great tool if you know where to put them. For Example: Escape, dark spirit. Let the moisturizing beads seep in. Let them take you on a magical journey. Without it, the first dozen or so lines are difficult to read and scarcely flow. Still, the image is coherent until "Escape sheer beauty". I really don't understand what this could symbolize. Escaping from beauty to travel to a world of fantasy doesn't remotely make sense, because a world of fantasy implies beautiful things. Even in your own poem, merely 3 lines later, you aim to escape from misery. I understand juxtaposition, but this just... doesn't work for me. |