Maybe if you left off the rhyming attempt? I don't think that this is entirely bad, in fact, it has some very nice phrasing, but the end rhymes are simply awkward.

nice. i liked it. it never said exactly what it was about which kept it intresting. keep writing i'd like to read more from you.

Reading your reviews, I believe better. X_X. Talent is so hard to come by on this site...

i thought it was a very good poem. i liked it alot! keep up the good work!

Mr. Magic

That's pretty good, and I like how you repeated "Glory to the making game" over and over. It makes the poem's message/idea more effective.

was i supposed to feel like that was about drugs?

i liked it. very angry and bitter.

and drug-full. aah...mike, i'm creating words again!