This story is great. The title goes along well with the story even though I have no clue with how it'll fit in. Hopefully we'll find out soon. I also hope we see more of the characters and how they connect with each other because so far it's interesting but I hope to see more.

This is getting slightly more intriguing. I hope you continue with it.

This is really very interesting and I can't wait to see where you go with this. Your writing is so well done and I enjoy the changes in point of view, although there was a point when I got confused by your shift between Naomi and Sharon. Great work though!

Great start! The description of the story reminds me of "Crash," and I'm really interested to see how this whole thing plays out. Crit: Birthday isn't a proper noun and doesn't need capitilization. Also, watch your commas: completely independent clauses should be separated by a period unless you have a word like "and" or "but" after the comma. :)

The characters and stereotypes are really interesting, and you've got a good handle on language. Nicely written so far. I bet it just gets better.

This is a lot longer than I thought it would be. Yay! My review is going to be stupid because I've read this story so many times I really don't know what to say except I love it. I love the characters and the feeling of the story, which is exactly what I always say.