|Reviews for Sleet & Hale|
| Kristina Suko 9/18/06 . chapter 3
Well, other than the closeness... stuff with Roque and Hale, I like it.
I noticed in a lot of places you'll use "it's" when it should be "its". Just remember- It's it is. If you read the sentence and come to an "it's" read it as "it is", and if it doesn't fit, take out the '. O, and by the way, contractions are a no-no in writing, (like saying "he didn't want to read the book.") for the most part, anyways. So that would also help with the it's thing.
D Maranwe Telrunya.
PS for the paragraph breakers, an x centered works well, and looks pretty good. D MT
| Charming Dice 9/17/06 . chapter 2
I just got your review. It sucks that you cant get into your email. Your best bet would be to create another address with a site like yahhoo or hotmail. If you get another one, email me the address.
By the way, thanks for the kind words in your reviews. You're certainly the first person to call me the "Amazing Dice Darwin." Whether you intend to or not, you truly motivate me to write more. I think that's why I've written so much in the past month.
So... have a good day, a good night, and a good life!
| Kristina Suko 9/17/06 . chapter 2
Fun... I liked how they all were introduced. D
D Maranwe Telrunya
| Kristina Suko 9/17/06 . chapter 1
The first sentence needs a "That were" between the two sentences instead of a period, because the second sentence is a fragment. And no comma between "descending from the heavens, until the branches grew weary..."
"A young boy with chocolate brown hair and, what were usually, bright green eyes..." no commas around what were usually.
"...a few years older that Hale: probably just a senior, a 6’4” senior." typo- than.
wierd... Um, what is yaoi and yuri and hentai? o, and shounen-ai? I see people use the words to describe some story and I have no clue what they are. Anyways, I like how the scene unfolds; it was easy to see everything in my mind. I'll read more later. D
| Mad Aristocrat 9/10/06 . chapter 2
As far as Cons go. Pay attention to your punctuation and spelling a bit more.
Other then that. You're all good. Hahah - "Or worse. Gay." - Ah. What foreshadowing. . I like how the schools laid out. And as much as the word 'Headmaster' reminds me of Harry Potter - I like that you used it. I was almost waiting for food to magically pop up onto the table though. ::Sigh:: Natural reflecx, I guess.
Those two are going to make a cute couple. That's for sure.
| Mad Aristocrat 9/10/06 . chapter 1
Before I even start reviewing this chapter, I shall aimlessly blabber about other things. XD...Seems like we like all the same things! Of course I too am an anime and manga fan - But besides that. Anne Rice is definitely one of my favorite authors and your deathnote obsession is most likely equal to mine as well. ...pretty cool. And obviously - I like yaoi and shonen ai too.
I like it so far. Not much to say since it's the first chapter. But I do - very much - like the names of your characters.
And also if I could ask you to review my story back as a favor. That'd be great. I haven't updated in a while since I've started college buut - I'm going to be concentrating on it once again. So if we could keep this you review and I review back - thing - going. That'd be awesome. I need reviews to keep me going. ,
| Hawk Raskenark 9/10/06 . chapter 16
I have nothing else to say except that this was another great chapter. And it has been my pleasure reviewing such an excellent story. _
| Cedric Kale 9/10/06 . chapter 16
oh my freaking god, whose blood is that let me guess is it Hale's. but this is the end i mean it can't be. Nice cliffy seriously, nice, might just be the best yet
| Tsumujikaze no Soujutsu 9/10/06 . chapter 16
Dude! That's an evil cliffie you've got for the ending! Why? Well anyway, I was thinking that evrything had been resolved until I saw that ending part. It really gives quite a lot of space for any form of development for a sequel. And yeah, I assume that Deltur and Almnes got caught by the police, huh? But then again, maybe not... anyway, looking forward to the sequel since I guess you're gonna do it...
P.S: Did you receive my D&D quiz email? Hope you have fun doing it and don't forget to email me your result!
| Sysi 9/10/06 . chapter 16
You evil incarnate! How dare you leave it like that? A major cliffhanger! You better write the sequel soon!
And other than that, this chapter explained quite well any loose ends there still were. I got a huge 'the story is coming to its end' feeling while reading this and I like the idea of short scenes with different people in them.
And thanks once more for the Rott/Inokura moment in the last chapter. They belong to each other.
| FoxyGrampa 9/10/06 . chapter 16
Is this the fate of Sleet and Hale, then? :'D Cuz you sure as hell can't end it there. xD
I understand the whole school thing... it definitely interferes with updating and, overall, writing. _ But what can ya do... (procrastinate from education; that's what! 8D;)
Anyway, looking forward to you either updating or coming out with the new story... n_n
| Eric Lupin 9/10/06 . chapter 16
That was an AMAZING story! I've loved reading this so much! I can't believe that cliff hanger! (squeaks) Are you going to write a sequel? Oh, and you're from Bulgaria? COOL! That's awesome! You're English is amazing! I had no idea that you were from anywhere except England or America! That's really cool! Well done on a fantastic story! n_n You rock!Eric
| Tsumujikaze no Soujutsu 9/1/06 . chapter 15
Heya there. Read the censored version... anyway, I'm a bit confused on the Hale-Roque part. Roque wasn't gay and so did Hale if I'm correct and they were attracted to each other... and yeah, the past of Almnes. It's damn sad to know about his past. Am I the only one that have the thinking that in this world, there are parents who cared more of their personal feelings over their children? Anyway, I was wondering if Rott was gay as well or is it just a joke he played on Tyler... and yeah, wonder about Hale's condition at the end. Guess it will be another bombshell for this story, huh?
| A Sock No More 8/30/06 . chapter 1
Hey, this is Dice. I got your e-mail, but for some reason I couldn't e-mail you back. Some kind of error. Anyway, I'll make a hotmail account and see if that works.
I'll get to story stuff in the e-mail, but I was wondering something. Myself and Sapphire Spectrum have put a little info about ourselves on our hitmakerz crew profile. Anything you wanna add about you?
Just e-mail it to me and I'll put it up.
I'm glad you joined.
| Tsumujikaze no Soujutsu 8/29/06 . chapter 14
Well, I would have expected tha Tyler is a homophobic... anyway, good interaction here and I really wonder what's gonna happen to Deltur and Almnes. Anyway, I really wonder if this story is nearing an end now that you've brought the subject up here... anyway, beinga Christian myself, I won't comment on my opinions on the general relationship tree in this story, but anyway, you've got a good story here and I wonder what will happen soon...
P.S: Circles of Arven has been updated in case you dunno. Hope to see your review soon! Bye!