FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| poisonbunny 2006-06-20 ch 1,  | abuseaww . . . that's so sad. The repetition makes it sound like a song, almost. I guess that's what you were going for since you picked the sub-category: song the raw emotion coursing through the harsh words of the poem really get the feeling across. However "pretty green eyes" doesn't really fit with the overall mood. It's too positive. I'd probably replace it, but that's me. Good job ^^ |