pretty good, it could have been a little longer, or had a few more hints about the stranger maybe but overall good

This is very well written...not a very happy story, but a well-crafted one nonetheless. It's hard to imagine what is left to say in the next chapter, but I'll be waiting for it anyway!

I can see a few little spelling errors now that I'm looking for them...ally instead of alley, ridged instead of rigid, things like that. There's a few little grammar mistakes too, but they're so tiny you can only catch them on the second read-through.

Please keep up the good work, I'm waiting for chapter two!

-Mephistophelian