Reviews for Beautiful - FictionPress.com

Reviews For: Beautiful

JesusFreak-Walken-in-the-Li... 2006-08-07 ch 5,	aww this was pretty short for u going away on top of it! no fair LOL
JesusFreak-Walken-in-the-Li... 2006-07-23 ch 4,	OMG i'm having an emo day as it is and that just made me tear up...again! :"/ WA! good work but kinda short!
maxnotevoltage 2006-07-21 ch 3,	Wow - that was really neat! I really enjoyed how you described her going along nervously, sitting there (nervously)... even to the point of being unsure of whether or not to sing along, since she would be praising a God she did not know. Hmm... Well, by the looks of that chapter... and the weird feeling she got as Liz was being baptized... Maybe there is hope for her? "I was watching my friend become part of something I felt I could never understand and certainly never be part of." That part was so genuine... You have an awesome way of creating emotion. Hehe - this part made me laugh: [After about two minutes of hugging Will eventually intervened with a cough and a ‘Er Liz? She’s mine.’] That was awesome. Haha... Will seems like such a cutie... I'm looking forward to reading more! This chapter was NOT bad! Cheers --J.max
JesusFreak-Walken-in-the-Li... 2006-07-19 ch 3,	Great chapter i c just where ur going...i think and its good i loved it keep up the good work best ch yet i think!
maxnotevoltage 2006-07-14 ch 2,	Uh oh. I just got this weird feeling when I read that last sentence - "Life was good" - that her life is gonna take a turn for the worse, pretty soon... ::sigh:: And she's so happy-high! I don't think I could stand to see her get hurt... They're kind of intense, though - more than kissing! ...hopefully not too much more... There was one part that I noticed, near the beginning, where there was a run-on sentence. "At first it was just noise to me, with some screaming over the top, but over time I began to appreciate it, ok so it wasn’t exactly my taste, but I could see it as music, not noise." Putting a period after "I began to appreciate it" would solve the problem nicely. Aside from that, I actually really liked that part! It's sweet that she's willing to listen to and appreciate his kind of music, even though it isn't her style... A very nice piece. Will you be posting more, soon? Keep it up! -- J.max
maxnotevoltage 2006-07-14 ch 1,	Aw... This is so sweet! And what's funny is I could completely relate to her watching Will play guitar. All those fluttery feelings of "I can't believe he chose me!" were captured so perfectly - I almost got butterflies, myself. Keep it up - this is a great story, and I love your writing style. Very nice!:) God bless! -- J.max
JesusFreak-Walken-in-the-Li... 2006-07-06 ch 2,	I like the story i cant say it isnt well writen but for u being christian so important to you there is a bit of cursing and the part about doing more then kissing does worry me a bit to at how your persenting christian life since ur character goes to chruch.
elephant121 2006-06-20 ch 1,	Hi there. The first chapter was a bit short, but I'm sure all first chapters are. You did a pretty good job with grammar and spelling; just a few mistakes. You might want to add some more detail to the characters so that the readers can picture it all better. Don't worry, all minor details, so just keep writing and stuff will come together.
sourgummyworms2007 2006-06-20 ch 1,	this is good. i can relate to this. a little bit of grammer, very tiny. anyway i can really relate to this story. i'm a nerd and i go out with a guy whose so cute. my first love and kiss.

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