Some of the details in this are really fantastic, like the lettering on the nail polish bottle and the idea of cranberry lips (I really love that image). However, the poem seems a little disjointed and messy. The formatting is strange - I don't know if it got screwed up somewhere, but that's throwing me off when I read this. The ideas are interesting and original, but I don't see how they mesh together. I really do love the last few lines of this, though. Keep writing! :)

Kiley, you are amazing! I would critique further but you are such a better writer than me that I doubt my opinions are as substatial as your writing abilities.

"I tried to consider the angles of his profile forming negative spaces (like vases) with mine" i know exactly what you're referencing here & i love the way you word it. it works really well.

m when he's holding my hand and my mind's on you...

Brilliant job on this. Perfect. From beginning to end.

wow. this is just amazing. i dont know how to describe it, but the lines you had in here, the way you wrote it. that's great.

it is simple and not and quite.. perfect.

je l'aime. which, in english, means i love it.

full of fabulous you-things. and i'm a fan of negative spaces because it's perfect and so appropriate.

I like this a lot.. the ending is great and the title line is awesome