Great story - it reads like a screenplay. You have so much good dialog (which I suck at). I really like the character introduction in the beginning - you give us a good sense of her without awkward plot devices - and I think that's pretty hard to do. Great job!PS - it's a little suspicious though that your dark haired, oversized sunglass wearing 'punk' heroine is named Rachel

Totally deserves more reviews! This was amazing. Hysterical! I loved it. Excellent one shot, and it was just the right length. Nice job.Much love, addicted2storiz