FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| SinfulWolf 2007-01-05 ch 1,  | abuseI do enjoy the erotic, and this story did it for me. However, the lack of paragraph structure made it slightly difficult to read. If you put in paragraphs the story would have flowed much smoother. As a one-shot, it's good, gets to the point quickly, but you could have gone into more detail involving what they were doing suring the sex. Fondling, kissing etc. Nonetheless, it was a good read. |
| JBL 2006-07-24 ch 1, | abuseNow that was nice. I was looking for something racy and erotic and your story really did it. |
| PrettyAwkward 2006-06-22 ch 1, | abuseNice... I liked it, I wonder if this was a one time thing or not. Update soon. |