Whoa. Interesting poem, not exactly the kind I would like to read, but it makes sense. Great work

if i didn't suck at giving reveiws, i would praise you with words that would make your smile almost break your face but i don't have those words at hand so all i can say is "lovely" and hope that's enough.

Twisted and pulsing with feeling. There is so much heat in these lines, I find -that- fascinating, how well you're able to twist and rearrange the language to summon these images and sensations. I think it's incredible.

Loved the last line. This is so gritty and raw. Loved it.

gritty and harsh-- I like what you did with the "i"s.

nice.

Oh I love that last line, it's crooked and bittersweet beauty. This poem is raw and screams reality. Awesome.

~Shavo~

the end is seriously senselessly beautiful. senselessly. faves.

So damn vicious. But beautifully written.

This is awesome but it reminds me of a really bad song by Nickleback. This has a lot of passion and lust in it, obviously, though. The formet was interesting, I didn't like it at first but I warmed up to it.

Daze

I love the passion in this, and its single "baby."

the beat of the poem gets faster and faster, and then suddenly its this jaw-crunching last line and everything comes crashing to a halt. i love poems that are able to do that.

that last line... really twisted the whole poem into something beautiful and obscene. i may be completely off the mark here but it seemed so indicative of the complete lack of understanding in relationships based on sex, like that bitter smile could be saying ANYTHING, could be boastful or condescending or ironic or regretful or Screaming for Help and there's nothing there to catch the meaning, no empathy, no safety net, and the void is painted so painfullybeautifully.

I love the title of this piece... its perfect... i also really like that ending well done

wow. damn good work. and yes, half the reason why is because you took it someplace most of us stay away from when we write poetry. it's fantastic. i love the way the words literally do seem to drip from your tongue... very cool.

mezzie