Reviews for Something Close To Wonderful

Reviews For: Something Close To Wonderful - Reviews: Page 1 of 19

77-LiLiAnA-77 2007-12-02 ch 1,	abuseI sounds awesome, but really, "Beautiful Disaster"? there are LOTS of stories with that name :( Anyway, I'll definitely be waiting... :)
Lyrical.Love 2007-10-24 ch 1,	abuseahh no you're changing some really key stuff in there i just read the first chapter to beautiful disaster and i didn't even realize it was the rewrite to SCTW. i thought your story before had a great plot and i think you could have made it work. that's not to say i won't read beautiful disaster. i'm sure it'll be wonderful, but i don't think it'll catch my mind like SCTW did good luck writing =]
xoxluurve 2007-10-19 ch 1,	abuseOh no, darling, you go and post that new story. (: No hate mail from me. Seriously, I cannot wait for the rewrite (version 3.0 ;P) Anything written by you is lovely. Now I'm just wondering where this'll be heading to. Hmm . . . ♥ xoxluurve
your harbor 2007-09-07 ch 1,	abuseI thought you were rewriting it again! I wondered why it was so short... Andd, I definitely WON'T send you hate me even though I did like the idea of your story.
Jestry 2007-09-06 ch 1,	abuseNO> D; You could have at least not taken it down. D;
ARF-ARF 2007-09-03 ch 1,	abuseHi So I'm one of your original readers. From the first edition. The moment I read this story, I absolutely loved it. But I agreed with you that it was going to fast. Then the seceded edition came and I loved it even more. I really don't see what was wrong with it, but you’re the writer and I have no say. All in all, every time you rewrite it, it gets even better. I can't wait to see what you have in store. But this does not mean you must keep rewriting it. To get it even better, I mean. That can come after the first draft is done. So anyways, I'm keeping my eyes open for the first chapter. Don't let me down. ARF-ARF
Despairity 2007-08-16 ch 12,	abuseyour story is so realistc that the characters seem to be alive. you have a really great writing style, ans i just love ur story.
I_am_the_bomb 2007-07-15 ch 12, anon.	abusewow ur great. i really liked the diary entries coz it gives us insight into her lives wich would make it heaps clearer, excellent idea! please continue them. i rate this story very highly and i think it would be awesome with abit more dean.. jealousy is always good. ahah yeh but ur an awesome writer. i got very teary in some chapters um awesome descriptions!. rock on!!
emberabbit 2007-06-21 ch 12, anon.	abuseAH! That's all? :[ UPDATE MORE!
emberabbit 2007-06-21 ch 9, anon.	abuseAw... so cute. This is awesome. Keep up the good work!
emberabbit 2007-06-21 ch 6, anon.	abuseOH. Awesome story so far. :3 Keep it up. :3
Wishes and Desires 2007-05-14 ch 12,	abuseThis story is sweet but i want something more to happen please write more and update...
squiggle-line 2007-05-04 ch 3,	abuseuh, please don't kill me but what I'm going to say next is meant to be constructive criticism, nothing personal. I think it's great that you're so dedicated to this story that you've re-written it once. I realize I'm not an expert but I thought maybe a few more comments from an average joe reader might help. I still feel horribly disconnected from your narrator. I could understand if she was angry or sad or numb after her mother's death but she seems to be...I don't know...upset in a superficial way. Like she knows she should be upset so she's going through all the motions but secretly, she's gloating inside. I have to admit that I've never lost anyone close to me before so I don't know what overwhelming grief feels like. Maybe it does feel like you're working on autopilot but deep down inside, you're just glad that it's over. I don't know. But as a reader, I feel like Jenna doesn't act appropriately in her given situation so I can't really relate to her. In terms of plot, the mother's death is starting to seem very convenient. I feel like the death of a parent is a story all on its own...not that other things don't happen while people die...still, I think if your story is about the aftermath of the death of a parent, it should focus more on the parent. If the story is really about James, then maybe you could put less emphasis on the parents and more on him? You have some really great lines ("But whatever, I loved my Malibu Barbie doll") but there are a few places where the word choice seems cliched. I think a lot of the action is told in this story...which is okay except I don't really believe your narrator so I have a hard time accepting what is going on. Overall, I think you have a great premise and a good sense of direction. If you focus on characterization a little more and narrow the plot line, I think it would hurt (in a good way) to read this story.
squiggle-line 2007-05-04 ch 2,	abuseAnd the plot thickens...I feel like the story is developing very quickly. This is not necessarily a bad thing...I just wish we could see more of Jenna's personality.
squiggle-line 2007-05-04 ch 1,	abuseInteresting premise but the narrator sounds like superwoman and I had trouble relating to her, not only because of her situation but because of the way she was handling her situation. While all the background you introduce at the beginning is relevant, it's a bit hard to get through at the start of a story. Maybe introduce what happened to the parents in bits and pieces and start from Jenna's announcement that she's going to quit soccer?

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