You let your little sister read this? I mean its not like shes too young or whatever, but your SISTER! Actually, I guess its cool that your comfortable with it...Well, it certainly is a move away from your usual style and although it is quite good I don't think you seem quite as comfortable with it when compared to the easy fluency of some of your other chapters- that said it was still fun. I guess I just enjoy all of the description etc in your usual chapters, although there certainly was 'description' here! I liked the way you split it up according to the words- I thought it was an interesting was of splitting it up and developing it, and I thought the words were well chosen. As always, I await the next chapter eagerly, and thank you for acknowledging my reviews :) P.S I know this is REALLY irrelevant but in England 'go with' means sleep with, and I got a bit worried because I thought you might have thought that i was thinking about that with that silly boy i so uncourteously had a rant about in your review box. Just to clear things up, i meant i was glad he didn't call because I would have met up with him if he had asked, not anything else. Sorry for wasting your time and space- but I didn't want you thinking even my anonymous self is 'that type of girl'! I will try to leave out the non- story focused bits of reviewing from here onwards!

You made it seem like there was so much action! WHOA! *whirls*

I've written many a lemon, my dear, but this was most certainly a schooling on your part, a ... pwn... or whatever it is those youngsters use nowadays. Anyway, great job for you FIRST FREAKIN LEMON! *goes outside and hangs a banner*

And just today me and my sisters were discussing a lemonade stand! *bursts into laughter*

Anyway, I liked the change in style, it made it seem like everything was happening! The descriptions of the body movements (though maybe sometimes a little bit embarrassing... like the 'opening') made it all seem more real. I don't like those ones that use figurative language and all that jazz. This was a good lemon. I applaud you.

Everything was so descriptive that even though it was all going by so fast, you knew exactly what was happening (which is good in a lemon... to know what's happening) and I think you did a marvelous job.

Also, marvelous job on the little warning(s) in the beginning. I usually just stick it in a sentence. "Yeah it's a lemon" and that's it. Bwahahahaha. Tough skin my sweet, tough skin.

Great job! I look forward to more! And I can't believe it took me this long to update! *sobs* And I was in love with these characters too! CAN'T EVEN SUPPORT THEIR LOVEMAKING WITH A QUICK UPDATE! Why! *stomps the ground*

Looking forward to more lovliness!

One word: FINALLY!*Dork Dance*Oh, and trust me, it wasn't as bad as you think it , to be honest, it was a lot better than most of the lemons I've read...*cough* Not that I read a lot of them. (I really don't...I'm afraid of accidentally not deleting it in history and mom-or worse, dad-seeing it and...yeah.)Anywho...well done.

I usually don't like sex scenes, hmm...but can I say that was very hot? Very, very. My favorite part was the innocent but beautiful part at the beggining. Devestatingly mischievous anyone? Hehe. Oh I do love Eddie. I can so totally picture him in my minds eye right now, and I'll tell you that is HOT. Excessively. Write, write, write some more!

P.S.-Online stalkers need more "omph" in their evil laughter. Try a few more a's.

I shall see you when I see you. May the force be with you!

You can't write lemons? You must either be joking, or out of your freaking mind. I'm a long time reader and first time reviewer, and I'm truly sorry for that, but I have read all of Act I, loved all of it, and read Take Me or Leave Me, and loved all of it. I know reviewing on this chapter makes me look like the dirtiest person alive, but I couldn't help it.

My god. If you say you've never written a lemon before, then you're just freaking brilliant. This was way better than some of the other trash I've read, and it has characters that I've connected with, not just water-thin screw-buddies. I would even go so far as to say that this is the best lemon that I've ever read. It was erotic, and at the same time it felt cerebral, which I've seen once in a blue moon. You need to write a novel. Speaking of, good luck on NaNoWriMo! I would love to do that (my teacher-friend is pushing it), and you're incredibely brave for trying. I'd love to see what you put out!

Again, about White Hot, basically what I've been trying to say is it's absolutely fucking brilliant. I highly look forward to your other works.

I feel weird reviewing a sex scen but...umm ok.

I thought it was pretty good. It didn't flow too good it seemed like it broke down from time to time but I know you said in the beggingi that it was divided by parts or something. I think it would have worked better if you had divide it only for your self to make it easier to write but once writen making it flow a bit better "smother"

It was sweet and hot, and it didn't read like porn which I think is a plus. I can't write these scenes when I try it takes me weeks for one paragraph that gets erased, so I should probably keep my mouth shut about it.

Something I would love to read is about their first time or how Max deals with Eddie if he had a nervous break down not a bad one like the one you mention in the original story but you know something.

I don't review all the time but I am fallowing this and I'm quite happy reading up the wonderful work!

p.s if you ever get a chance I'd love to hear what you think about one of my stories.

Um...wow. That was interesting. LOL. I have to say, my favorite chapter so far has been the first one, followed by the second. And you didn't do a bad job on this one either...it was very, er, intense. Keep up the good work.

Gaah... god, so so so so HOT. You should really change the rating, cause man, this made my ribs hurt.

-Apple

I'm never believing another word you say now. That was the best lemon I've ever read. I can't wait to see more like it from you. ;p Fantabulous work as usual, my dear. Keep it up.

Hey! It was good, not bad at all! My favoirte line was:

Max smiles, softly. "Come on, baby. Let's go to bed."

I LOVE when Max calls him baby... I don't know why... it's just so cute!

*jaw hits the floor* That was good I like the way you wrote it. Now if I was saying it was the best lemon I have read I would be lying because I have read some really good ones. Anyways for your first shot at it was amazing and it kept me up the good work.

what are you talking about! This was one of the HOTTEST sex scenes I have read ever!Its better than most that are in punlished books. Now you've got me looking forward tyo reading more...LoL.

Your sister should be pleased with you. YOu say you can't write these. I diagree. Can't wait for the update!Luv, Me.

Eh... It's time to rate this M yeah? Anyway, its fabulous. Of course we wont listen. This is so Eddie of making a list, even during sex. .

I don't know what you are talking about but thats one of the best pieces of erotica I have ever read. n_n I really like how you set it up and the choices of words. Very well done in my opinion. Excellant! *applause* hehe