Reviews for Overdressed - FictionPress.com

Sparrow Still Sings
2006-06-27
ch 1,

abuseRewr.Once again I applaud you (and envy) your ability to rhyme so well. I've noticed this in most of the poems I have read so far.

The first stanza - it kinda makes me feel like someone is tickling my nose with a brown feather. Like a taunt almost - the first stanza is my favorite (tsk, I have a favorite in every poem I read)

I had a small little giggle inside my water glass when I first the last of the first stanza.It might not have been intentional - but I kinda find that the,"dances in the rain"might have just been sloshed in to go with the "pain" :)Nothing rhymes with pain or rain, like rain or pain...or game.

But hey - it still matches with the feel of the poem anyway so I cant really complain or disagree with it.

'stick your arms out the window, and pretend that you can fly'

Ah - I'm always doing that when I am in a car. Rarely every get in a convertible, but I like to stick my arm out on the passenger side and move my hand along with the air currents. Though sometimes I get paranoid that a passing mail box will cut of my hand.That would suck because then I would type so slowly without my right hand. And my left hand would get tired.

These stanzas about being in the car - pretending to be a bird.For me this just oozes with a sense of freedom, like breaking down that rusted chain and getting to see the sky for the first time.Like seeing blue for the first time.

Its a bit like...seduction. Yes, that is what might make it so appealing to me. The tone of this sounds like a certain someone to me."Just take your foot off the brake..."

Whats the worst that can happen?

And then when you skip back to the stop, with the question "Was this a wasted trip?"

I think not.

- Sparrow{and thank you for your reviews. Very much apperciated. I'm sorry my review for Emerging Green did not show up. The one time I did not copy my review before I submited it, but I'm still gald that the thought it counts for something.Oh - and about an obervsation you had about my poems :) unless they say "Fiction" at the stop - they are all my feelings and my memories.}

Rionarayne
2006-06-26
ch 1,

abuseI really love it, especially the first two stanzas. The rhymes and imagery are genius.

Return to Top