Reviews for What He Doesn't Know

Reviews For: What He Doesn't Know - Reviews: Page 1 of 2

kitvampie 2008-04-22 ch 8,	abuseRadically different from your other work, I really like it! you have this amazing knack for laying out characters and it really shows :] can't wait for more.
Essie 2008-04-04 ch 8, anon.	abuseo i didn;t know you started writing again ... a year ago. heheheh Hope you continue!
youpin 2007-06-03 ch 1,	abuseFantastic story.
Sweetie Pie 2007-02-22 ch 8, anon.	abuseThis is good too. Just a couple of small things: Your = possessive (not you're) and intact (not in tack) Really looking forward to your next posting!
NOLONGERPOSTING 2007-01-30 ch 8,	abuseabsolutely fascinating. I can't wait for more!! Your characters are so real...and the trick Sam pulled was accurate in many work situations...it's so annoying when a guy thinks that just because a woman is not a man that she can't do her job...lol...keep up the good work!
wolf-of-the-dark-night 2007-01-20 ch 8,	abuseLove the story, Sam's tact is great! She lives up to her legend!! One thing that might make it easier for the reader though, is if you do breaks in the text between POVS... I know it took a minute for me to realize that it was Rosa's POV and not Sam's. Great jopb though and keep it up! Hope to read more soon!!
NOLONGERPOSTING 2006-11-17 ch 7,	abuseWow...I absolutely love it!! Can't wait for more, so update soon!!
caz15th 2006-10-28 ch 6,	abuseI love it! Very different from Snowdance, that's for sure. How's the selling of that book going btw? Anyway just thought I'd say hello and tell you what an awesome story this already is though I hope Jeff and Sam reconciliate. Just a couple of things. No, when she had her revenge, she would move some where she wasn’t known and begin again. She could never return to the States. She was unable to look at an American face and not see her brother. But until that time, she would continue to bow down to the men of her country, just like she had been taught as a child. Her day would come. The pistol jumped ever so slightly in her hand, the distinctive smell of gun powder penetrating her nostrils. Her hearing protection kept the sharp report from damaging her ear drums although she was too focused to notice the noise. She had longed since trained herself to only notice if it didn’t sound right. That part there is really confusing. You jump from Azhar in the Middle East to Sam in America without clearly clarifying the change of scene and so the reader is lost for a couple of paragraphs. That's chapter two. One other nitty gritty thing that I give you full rights to hate me for pulling out, the second sentence, chapter one has missing punctuation where you say "...to keep her emotions in check all the while...". It should be "...to keep her emotions in check, all the while...". A comma was needed. Other than that, awesome work!
CrAzEd_ReViEwEr 2006-10-28 ch 6, anon.	abuseawesome awesome awesome awesome AWESOME story, i LUV military-centered stories, and yours is pretty damn good. the tension between them is just great, i hope you update soon, HURRY!
wolf-of-the-dark-night 2006-10-27 ch 6,	abuseGreat story, Sounds like it will be as good as your other ones!! One thing I thought I would point out though, was “You new guys all have training at zero six tomorrow,”, from that, it seems she wants them to meet for training at 12:06 AM military time... If you want it to be 6:00 AM military time it would be zero-six-hundred hours. Just thought I would point that out, of course that could have been what you wanted to say all along... KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!
Desert Illusion 2006-10-19 ch 4,	abuse“Their religion frowns on females so we never even considered the possibility..." By 'religion' I'm assuming you mean Islam, right? Well, first off, Islam does NOT frown upon women. It's actually quite the opposite in reality. It's the first among any religion to give women so many rights, inheritance, and equal status as men, so I think that that statement is wrong there, and doesn't apply. Let me clarify one thing: culture is VERY different from religion. Most cultural practices do NOT go in accordance with Islam. That's why people easily confuse the both, and blame everything on Islam, whereas that is not true. Unfortunately it's the most misunderstood religion in the west, so please be careful that you don't offend anyone. Thought I'd let you know the difference. ~Maha
Moonlight Silver Wolf 2006-08-07 ch 4,	abuseOh man I can't wait to see what his reaction will be or her reaction for that matter. Good chapter keep up the all the hard work.
Desert Illusion 2006-08-06 ch 4, anon.	abuseNice chapter, but too short.
angels and effects 2006-08-05 ch 4,	abuseGreat story! It's well written, the characters' thoughts are well-described... I particularly admire how well you can write about the army. Looking forward to the next chapter!
wolf-of-the-dark-night 2006-08-05 ch 4,	abusevery good! please update! I love this story!

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