I don't know if this was supposed to be funny or not...but I found it freaking hilarious. I actually go to a Catholic school, and a lot of my friends have super-religious families like that-I don't know if they're as big a hypocrites as Francis and Rebecca, but it sounds pretty likely they're not the holiest people around. Good work. You made smut sound like prose. *applauds M. Soames*

WOW

I loved your intro...very nice irony