I absolutely love this - it's written so simply, yet it's very powerful at the same time. The line "I want it to hurt somewhere else / Besides my heart" was fantastic.

The introduction caught me and the ending left me speechless. The last two lines are fantastic. You seem to have this balance between angst and reality, which is quite refreshing. Nice job!

This is very emotional, but not overly so. I think you did a good job balancing emotion and sentimentality. I really like the first line – it caught my attention immediately when I began reading. Keep up the good work!