made me cry

Aww, I really love the last part of this. It's so sweet and I can picture it so clearly in my mind. Some of the phrasing in this seemed strange at times, but hey, it all worked out in the end. Keep writing! :)

it has a strong sentimental value.

What a charming poem. I love the idea of promise-inspired stars. Easy to read and well structured.

dreamy, wonderful, complete. I'm surprised I'd go for something like this, but its very real and genuine...

I thought we would stay together forever

Remain on the meadow

Side by side

Miniature soldiers armed with our fantasies

Turned out we were only losing to time

How timeless and universal. What would you differently?

Very sweet and provides a complete story. Great job.

This is really beautiful. My favorite part:

And how the stars will remain by your sideNo matter how far you goOr how hard you cry.

The every-day-ness is exquisite, the story-telling-ness leaves me breathless.

...wow! This was an excellent poem! I loved it! You have extremely great talent at writing, don't ever give that up.

"And how the stars will remain by your sideNo matter how far you goOr how hard you cry."

I loved those lines! I really...just..*wow* LOVED THEM! *keep writing* you're great at it!

And thnx so much for the review:D

~britney~

It's so sweet I think I might have gotten cavities from it.

And it really is!

I luffs the little tidbits about Sonny's life [his brother, his dad], and how he is so wise beyond his years that it's almost bittersweet to think about.

And how you summed up city life in seemingly randomly selected nouns, and how the very last line could be said by either Sonny or Her.

D'aww.

reminds me of limericks for some odd reason. i think it's the way you told the story anyway, nice work.

Sweet with a hint of sadness. The rhyme scheme looks intentionally random, so I won't criticize too much. Just realize that it does distract a little to have different patterns in different stanzas, and toward the end, none at all.

I liked a few of your lines very much, among them "miniature soldiers armed with our fantasies" and "where the clouds and pollution looked one and the same". Great symbolism with the clouds throughout the poem, and making the bit about the moon tie the whole thing together.

While it wasn't my favorite style, I think you've done well with it. Keep up the good work.

-Leila

*smile* I like this.

:wipes away a tear: (coughseriouslycoughcough)

It was so sweet and sad...and sweet and sour...and some sweet and low.

I love the verse with the Taj Mahal thing, and the miniature soldiers verse as well and the last one because it was just sweetsadsourlow. ^_^

HURRAY! Great job ^_^ and I love the pen name :P

Love xoxo