Good start, though slightly rushed in pace. Will this be updated?

phantom_jedi

Enjoying the story. "Luc you are my father"

Quick question, totally unrelated to the filler: Why did Carl listen to that tape in the first place? Didn't he know that it would turn him into a banshee?

Answer at your liesure.

Lord Pyro

Very descriptive and you used very strong words. This could easily be the opening scene in an action movie. I liked it a lot.

Dice Darwin

I haven't gotten all the way through the story yet, but I like what I've read so far. Very interesting.

this is an interesting tale so far - i can't wait to see what you do with the rest of it!

P.S. what do you think of Chaps. 2&3 of "Modifications"?

Live forever, or Die trying!

An entire chapter with almost no conversation? That sounds hard to do. But you did it very well. I enjoyed the look into the emotional aspect of Robert's first mission the most.

LP

:)

Building up suspense, are we? You did a very nice job of that and of expanding on some the changes that had taken place in the three months since the attack. If I had to rate this on a scale of one to ten, I would give it a 8.5.

Nice story you've got going, but I've got one comment.

"Fiazio mumbled out a thanks, and left that as the limit of his conversation."

Clearly you've never been aboard a flying UH-60. I'm in the U.S. Army and have been aboard these wonderful creations; lemme tell you, a mumble, much less a moderate holler, will not be heard by anyone.

Then again, I've always flown with the doors open. Ah, it can't be that much quieter with the doors closed. O_o

Anyway, keep at it.

Wow. Just wow. This story was very, very well written. You used great descriptions to; I could really picture what was going on. Dialogue was really well-done, too. Great job, and I await further installments.

However, there are a few things I need to adress. This only happened once from what I've read, but start a new paragraph when a different person speaks. Also, Puny Human and Rocket Propelled Miracle don't need to be capitalized.

But otherwise, awesome job.

Wow Sam,ur a great writer. U have great detail and its like i was there.

gee golly i wish i could write like u.

Salutations,Penolopy