|Reviews for Draconic Evolution|
| Lightdragon2012 3/26/09 . chapter 14
This story is quite well thought out and remines me a bit of Shinzo, an anime that was shown a long time ago. Also some of your character personalities remind me of some of your other characters in some of your fanfics that I have read as well. But there are some things that you kind of left out I think that might truly expand your world. Like what type of governments exist and what type of ruins are left of humanity? An example is the remains of a statue of some famous human hero or something or if New York City is a huge hunting ground for rare technologies. Just something that might add more of a back story to this very interesting world you have created.
| Dragon Shi 1/12/08 . chapter 14
I almost forgot how enjoyable this story was, but I have to say that I think you got your skills back to writing this story again. I did enjoy the relationship building you did in this chapter with mostly dedicating it to Ryokos/Yakumo and Rinok and Ferryl. Both were interesting to read, but I still feel something missing between Rinok and Yakumo. Maybe you are doing that on purpose so readers like myself will be more interested (which is working lol), but in either case it's all the more interesting. I know Ryoko's finds as he spys on Taue from NightShade is one thing I look forward to.
| James-D 1/1/08 . chapter 14
I'm glad to see you're still doing this, I was worried you'd stopped it for a while.
It's nice to see some fleshing out of the relationship between Yaumo and Ferryl. It was also nice to see a bit more of Rinok struggling with his crippling injuries. Altlen seems to be somewhat band as a character, but Ferryl and Yakumo are really coming into their own.
The snippet up top about how technology was both scavenged and created was interesting, I was wondering where the tech was coming from. It does provide a an interesting problem: On one hand, you have magic, on the other you have technology. One uses nature, the other twists it. How would tech-minded people and magic-minded people interact? Would there be a rivalry?
Please write more soon!
| Dragon Shi 9/24/07 . chapter 13
Somehow this chapter seemed short then the others, but then again it felt like it needed to end. Though I wonder if Rinko does truly forgive Yakumo for leaving them. That is innocent manner seems too unnatural. Hidden feelings perhaps? I maybe wrong, but his charcter is suggesting something hidden, but it could be just me.
Anyways another well done chapter and it's good to see your still writing Night. Hopefully things continue to go well for you. I'm mostly studying up for more things for Soul Reaper and a new series I am thinking of. I'll tell you about it if I see you online.
| James-D 9/22/07 . chapter 13
Thought you might've stopped for a while there. Was getting worried.
I quite liked the part with Ryokos (Or Hyshaji) getting drunk - though I would've like to see it fleshed out a bit more. I'm sure there would have been some funny moments to be had if it was his first time getting drunk (From experience, getting drunk the first time led to some amusing conversations ;) )
Also, there were a few grammar errors, calling the Black Flight 'salvages' instead of savages for instance but nothing big.
Update soon please!
| Dragon Shi 7/18/07 . chapter 12
Long time no see Night, well getting back to the story I must say that the development you have placed into Yakumo is very deep, and stirs a lot of things for him as we all see. Makes me wonder how his relationship with Rinok is going to go. Does hje still blame himself for the accident that took his friend's voice? I look forward to the next chapter of course, and congradulate you on your continuing time to write this story.
| James-D 7/16/07 . chapter 12
I'm relieved to see you're back and writing. It would be an awful shame for this story to dry up.
Just a question, a clarification on the tech situation; is something like a CCTV something only a select few could afford? I got the impression from previous chapters that complex tech and electronics were hard to come by. Yet characters seem to find modern-day tech as a matter of course.
I know that Rinok had the funds from their racing careers, Yakumo possibly something as well (Though he did give it all to Rinok). Also, Emund is understandable being some kind of kingpin.
Just wondering where this tech comes from: is this stuff still manufactured and found relatively easily, or is it mostly scavenged or produced by a few skilled and trained individuals or groups?
I'd find the idea of tech-hoarding guilds and groups quite fascinating. The idea of advanced tech in the hands of a few in a world where most of the people have little tech, and little knowledge about it to boot, appeals to me greatly.
Sorry, getting caught up in the mythos here. This story is greatly remniscent of Fallout in many ways, and the addition of magic, dragons and your own personal touch only makes it greater!
Looking forward to more soon.
| Guest 6/27/07 . chapter 11
OMG! I'm so behind in my reading, I haven't looked here for 2 months! O_O I have to get up to date on the story and an extra long review. Wow, I really enjoyed this chapter. We get to see some of Yakumo's past and a legend of how Wyverns came to exist, good job on that it seemed so authentic. YES! I found one good lycan! I dunno if I found any before because I forgot the little details of the previous chapters, but yes! Ottus was not an evil or hostile lycan. Love him even though it's a little part and seemingly an out of shape lycan. I'm kinda confused on the racing part of the story, is Rinok a wyvern? In the legend you wrote, there was a difference between wyrm and wyvern but in the story it said "nudging the Wyrm on his equivalent of a Dragonier’s shoulder". Isn't wyrms and dragoniers the same? Write the next chapter please, I'm wondering if Yakumo's mechanical arms and stuff came from an accident in the races. If you explained that before in a previous chapter, sorry, I forgot that part. Please continue writing the story, you haven't updated in the 2 months I've been absent. Gotta go catch up on my fanfiction now!
| Dragon Shi 4/30/07 . chapter 11
Apologies for not reviewing sooner. The first part you wrote was very well put. I still wonder how it fits into the whole story, but nevertheless it was entertaining. So now we look at Yakumo, he has an interesting past, much more in tune then the others I find. Also once more wanted to compliment on your action scenes. I've always tried to improve my own, but yours are very well placed.
Look forward to the next chapter.
| James-D 4/22/07 . chapter 11
Excellent story at the top - A nice and creative piece of background mythos.
The technology strongly reminds me of Arcanum, which is good. I'm fond of steampunk worlds and stories. The characters, with the possible exception of Ferryl seem to be developing into nice 3D characters. Ferryl still seems to be a chibi-esque anime cutout at some points, but there's enough personality (drawing from previous chapters) to make her nicely-rounded as well.
I might say the idea of having a debt to pay to an old friend who most likely won't be cooperative or perhaps outright hostile is a slightly cliche'd subject, but it doesn't stop you from making it an interesting development. Bravo.
Hurry with the next installment willya? I may have to grumble incoherently to myself otherwise.
| Sparkee 4/21/07 . chapter 2
I'm reading this and it's great so far. I love good combat descriptions. So dragons succeeded mankind. It reminds me of planet of the apes except with dragons, which is much much cooler.
| Sazuki 3/13/07 . chapter 5
And I'm back to read more...
Nifty! Get to see things from Ferryl's point of view now. -rubs hands together excitedly-
Slag! - I love their curses. _
'started pounding on my head with a smaller hammer' - ow, headache, ow...someone toss Ferryl an advil!
Err...After being pounded on the head so much, she's not even dizzy? O_o Right...
And more flashbacks...whee. :) I've already said I like the flash-back idea because it helps to develop the characters.
Aww poor Ferryl...I hate bullies like that Gruiand. And it does go to show that your character ISN'T invincible. Good, good.
O_o Yakumo sounds like he's on PMS...Wait...do dragons even go through PMS...maybe they could have something similar, periods where their moods go annoyingly haywire...That'd be interesting.
WHY is no one feeling PAIN? BEING THROWN AROUND WOULD HURT, DRAGON OR NOT...Just like jumping through a window would hurt, whether it's having glass in your skin or the act of crashing into something...People run into walls, doors, poles, what-have-yous...They're not horribly injured, but it WOULD and DOES hurt, at least for a little while.
Another nifty - Yakumo's point of view now. -poke- So what's he thinking inside his head?
Ha, Yakumo doesn't like to feel guilty or accept the blame, does he?
Oh frac, who? WHO DAMMIT I DON'T HAVE TO READ MORE! Arg!
Well fine then, I'll be back later...Especially after that cliff-hanger.
| Shadow-Walking-Tactician-VI 3/11/07 . chapter 10
*sigh* Nice story, please update soon and keep writing longh chapters! Good luck writing the next chapters, dont quit writing! Sorry for not reviewing on the other 9 chapters, but not many people review anyways so yeah...Ryokos is awesome, hopefully some more action is coming up soon, and i hope we'll soon go back to the topic of the shadow fangs or whatever they're call...lol, keep up the good work\!
| Sazuki 3/11/07 . chapter 4
I like your magic system. Very, very nifty and well-thought out. Complicated, but not too confusing. Kinda the way the pokemon battles work...once you understand all the different types, and their position in the circle, it all starts to make sense.
Cheers! Ferryl saved him! :) I think you've developed/are developing Ferryl very well...especially with that act to save the main character. I like her.
Interesting how irony played there...the collar deflecting the blade. I feel like there's something in between the lines there...Hmm...
I like his debate with himself over why he's trying to save the whelpling. Great for character development :)
Elven bandits...I'm still having a hard time getting used to it...it's so different it's funny...
Cross-shaped scar...cross-shaped scar... OMG IT'S RUROUNI KENSHIN IN ELF FORM! Except...I think Kenshin had the scar on his left...ah well.
...okay, sorry, I thought it was funny.
Oh, yay, another flashback! I do love those...honestly.
So...the Elf is a bit of an asshole...wonder why he was in that cell...and why he considers himself their 'special' prisoner.
"Here's my answer...RRAARRWR!" - I love this! RAWR! HAHA!
Eh...I'm not giving much constructive criticism this time around, am I? Sorry bout that...Guess I'm really enjoying it. :) I like your characters...that's good. Guess it just takes a while to fall in love with 'em...of course there's still a ways before I say I'm in love with yours yet.
I kinda like Ka's badass entrance, even though WTF is he doing jumping out of windows? Wait, are the windows made of glass? And if they are - or something similar - wouldn't it still be like... OW, even if his wings can make the fall easier?
...So 'arse' is now in their vocabulary too? Teh...reh? (Even though I have to admit that scene is pretty hilarious)
Okay then...I think I've said all I need to...and...I'm going to call it a night.
Loved the fight scene. Though it did confusing with what was happening every once in a while.
| Dragon Shi 3/4/07 . chapter 10
Well there goes the wonder if Kana is still alive. A blow to the chest would be quite lethal. The humor was very well placed though very awkward that Athein had to walk in on that. LOL Nicely done.