Aw... Cliffhanger. So good! though... David and Daniel I keep getting mixed up. Change one of their names to Tom or Harry or something. But not Dick - because that also starts with a D.

oh u know another thing related to the whole character thing; just use obvious physical characteristics if u have to. like the eyes, or u can mention a physical trademark of the sort. i think the latter chapters r btr than the first 2 (compliment, lol) i rlly like it.

i have an interesting suggestion for u... instead of describing each and every physical detail of a character, let the reader picture him or her on their own, with the support of the character's personality or w/e else. trust me, it works. characters are much more interesting when they have a particular demeanor. who cares about their looks. a brown-haired character is (in my eyes)the same as another brown-haired character. rlly. brown hair, so wat? wat I wonna know, as a reader and writer, is WHO they r. not WHAT they look like.

i like the ridiculously extended names, but i have to warn u of something; hidden keys, secret passage-ways... watch out not to use too much cliche...

I like this Jacob kid. But you switched between past and present tense. You might want to be a little more careful about that.

OMG! that's freaky-deeky! Keep writing, lady! I'm intrigued (:

Ohh a cliffhanger and the title all in one chapter!

I like this.

Those are such long names... Where do you get those?

It is very goodsh... WRITY MORY!!

Love,
Pascy

great chapter! I can't for you to reveal all the rooms and their secrets in the next chapters! Or well, you better if you want to live! muhahahahahaa...haha...ha. lol. awesome mysterious story. heh, loved the bit where Ilithya dumps water on the rich kids. wish I could do the same sometimes...:P update soon!

Wow, great frist two chapters. Are the old people both blind? Because they seem a little too ...able to see, if that even makes sense.

Very good start, it's got a mysterious air to it. Not really sure how this is going to go but the ending of the chapter really makes me want to read more. I'm excited to see how your characters develop. Please update soon.

The setting is great. That eerie perfectness (of a neighborhood) is always great for dark, hidden secrets. And even if there are none, it's still nice. :D

It's mysterious right off the bat. Can't wait to read more. ^^