I like the sequence of events/plot of this poem, especially the ending. I definitely wasn't expecting that, and it was rather refreshing to read such an ending after the more sexual imagery.

Great job :)

hey! wow you seem really mature and educated... i don't know why i get that impression but anyway! i've never really read any poems written like this... so descriptive and structured... it's very interesting, a taste of something new i guess. nonetheless i liked it! i'd really appreciate if you had a look at some of my work... i've recently undergone a new era in my life and am looking for some feedback! peace and love always from holly.

Great work! This is a very interesting poem.

The beginning was perfect:

I sit as wisps’ of smoke

Hue my countenance

With bluish grey

My breath abates

To inhalations bliss

And so was the ending:

I lean in and

Kiss my wife

Gently on her tender

Mouth whispering

“I love you”

Before settling to

Sleep

All in all I really liked this poem!

Keep Writing!

beautiful

wow!

Never ceased to amaze me. Thank you :)