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| VampireCat 2006-09-03 ch 6, anon. | abuseDrew sounds HOTT! |
| Mistress of the Tormented 2006-08-25 ch 6,  | abusemy my my I love it! thers not really anything else i can say exept Write anoter chapter! NOW! |
| pink skyy 2006-08-16 ch 5, anon. | abuseI loved it plz update soon. |
| ebonydragon 2006-08-11 ch 5, | abuseNO! I need more story! This is very BEAUTIFUL! Please update! |
| BDhei 2006-08-08 ch 5, | abuseOh, interesting! "--and her curves were more…curvy." I think this sounds a little funny. Maybe something like... "--and her once almost nonexistant curves had miraculously grown overnight, giving her body a full, voluptous appeal."I don't know if that works, but hey, can't say I didn't try. -_-;Keep writing. n_n |
| BDhei 2006-08-08 ch 2, | abuseHeh, her sister is a prostitot, wicked awesome. You seemed to have confused the uses of "Your" and "You're" an few times. Just always remember You're as you are, that's what I do, because I am stupid. ^_^;. The description of our male irked me a little, and now, because I am annoying, like a yeast infection, I shall explain why. You used 'well built' a little strangely, and kind of repetitively, but don't worry too much about that.Perhaps... "A strong looking boy stood in front of her. He had dirty blonde hair and an intensely dark, scrutinizing gaze. But the first thing she noticed about him was a well difined torso, rippling with strong muscle and perfectly placed hollows. She could only tell that this was certain because of the black wife beater, clinging to his masculine form like a second skin." I don't know, something like that. -_-. I suck, I am aware. Anyways, good! Keep writing! |
| BDhei 2006-08-08 ch 1, | abuseHey there darling! Hm, you don't suck at writing, I assure you I have seen much, much worse. Though, you may want to work on the vocabulary you use. I found many of the words were slightly redundant. And call me obsessive compulsive, but this had me reading it again and again. "--letting his own blood to pour out," You may want to change "Letting" to "allowing", perhaps? All in all, very nice. ^_^! |
| Mistress of the Tormented 2006-07-15 ch 3, | abuseI really really really like this story... keep writing sexy |
| Mistress of the Tormented 2006-07-11 ch 1, | abuseoh my... pascy i love it make more... me need more |
| paper ink flowers 2006-07-10 ch 1, | abusevery good lovie. keep it going, i wanna know what happens! |