before getting down on the story let me say i really like your name, and the title of this story itself. "silver guardian" doesn't sound much one-of-a-kind, but i dunno, it kind of appeals to me.

okay so here's the thing. i will be frank, so if i've offended you, send me an email and tell me how much i suck. or if you like the review, send me still an email (or better yet, a review of your own).

first--MYSTERY! fantasies more or less have a lot of mysteries going on in the first chapter, which makes for a long list of questions like what, why, how, where, and when (and the occasional "what the hell?"). and i did had a WTH moment during the storm thing.

but anyway let's have it in order. it was slightly odd that you were narrating about the silver-haired girl and then suddenly the focus shifted on Lady. this is one minor beef, though, but this would probably confuse people who just skim through. and as i said, it's odd. this probably goes like this in a reader's mind, "oh, hot, silver-haired girl. asleep. and she's... oh. wait. another person. so this person is called Lady, huh?" not an accurate description, but you get the idea. or maybe that's the style of this chapter, in which case i'm inclined to say bravo.

i am very much obsessed with details, but with a piece this short, i don't mind that it a needed a little more. however, don't get me wrong. sometimes details just clutter your written work, that instead of helping you reinforce it, it weakens it. as i see it, you've done a spartan job--succinct and short, but efficient. i don't think details this time would get your point across as you've done so with this one.

try to get some details, though, as you progress further. as you mature in writing, you'd see that some parts need detail while others don't. but maybe you know it already, so i dunno why i'm still blubbering. and i don't even know if you're older than me.

your use of repetition and words that relate together are good, which lends an atmosphere of quiet eeriness that we all so like. your style tend to trail, leaving us to our imagination, which is both good and bad depending on your take.

the cast is... well, strange, to say the least. one invisible "Guardian", a cat (whom i think figures in the story one way or another), and pale-haired girl didn't do any dialogue at all, so we had no idea of their characteristics aside from the Lady, the focus of your narration. my heart goes to the Guardian, though... she's basically in a thankless job, and even for all that she still protects this girl (who is she anyway?) as if her own life was at stake. i guess guardian angels are at the same predicament, though. XD

the sudden onset of the storm was just that, sudden. even its death was instantaneous that you were making us believe that nothing really happened (that may be Lady's intent, but that's NOT your intent, because you are telling a story, and if it does feel that way it spells trouble). make it flow with words, as if you are painting. even a storm in real life doesn't just come; it builds up. and i suggest that you build up major events and let it climax.

however what really hooked me on was how the storm stopped. it's ingenious, creative, and simply amazing. it didn't even touch the back of my head that somebody could've thought of something like that--or i haven't found anyone yet. in any case, this is the first time i've seen a mention of a Storm-stone, and i hope it would be depicted more in the chapters to come.

at this moment i need to quote you.

"This is simply the beginning. I am on a roll, and I even have an outline! Please tell me if you think it is even worth following up. Good first chapter, no? R&R! I love reviews. And I take them seriously."

i hope this is JUST the beginning, because i want you to do more. and yes, i agree, it surpasses good, but it won't be good enough standing alone. and thanks, i appreciate you appreciating my review. XD

so there and i added you to my author alert list. keep writing!