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| Julri 2006-07-11 ch 1,   | Poor little elf. He's going to be impaled on his hat... This sort of reminded me of this one poem by James Garner. So, if you ever stumble across a book by him, you should read it! :D |
| sylvia's syndrome 2006-07-10 ch 1, | This is very amusing. I like the threats the speaker is giving. You did really well with the rhyming in this piece, I think. It flowed very well and it didn’t sound contrived or childish – two common side effects of rhyme. However, I think your rhythm could use a little work. There isn’t really a set beat for this poem, and the effect was jarring in some places. An easy way to set your poem to a rhythm is counting syllables and using a repeating pattern. Other than the rhythm (or lack thereof) I think this was very well written. Keep up the good work! |
| An-Author-At-Heart 2006-07-10 ch 1, | LOL this is really cute! I love the threats to the elves (my goodness i'm mean), they're so creative! "I'll impale you on your hat", "I'll have you trampled by a reindeer accident"... it's great. I enjoyed it a lot. |