FictionPress.com - let the words flow
| FictionPress.com - let the words flow |
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| I'm Still Here 2006-07-16 ch 1,   | hotness in the form of writing. seriously. it's like omg hot. I love the way you wrote like... everything. I'm srsly jealous of your skills. |
| sophomoric genius 2006-07-11 ch 1, | This has a sort of poetic feel to it. I like it. I really do. But the constant repittion of "you say" sort of disrupted the feel and flow of the story for me. Don't get me wrong, sometimes it works. I realize that it's the one giving the piece its poetic feel. It's just that there's a part there that has three consecutive sentences with that phrase, and it kind of ruined the continuity of feeling. Perhaps you could have replaced that with similar phrases? Or maybe italicized it? But all in all, it was a great read. I really liked it. Good job! |
| mezzie 2006-07-11 ch 1, | the tone was distant, but i liked it, sounded observatory but somehow still reached in and laid a finger on my heart. this sounds so much like how things really go sometimes. mezzie |