that's apocalyptically, tenderly, wonderously gorgeous. burnt sienna& mustard seed... vivid & raw, imagery shivers

Oh my god.I am in awe.Awe.I'd quote my favorite bits, but that'd be the whole beautiful thing.Because I'm in awe.

i've read this through several times already and i know it's been a couple of months, but what's good remains good.

i can't get over the fact that it's a simple 61 words, yet it seeps into the consciousness and stays etched there. concise is beautiful, and i love the impression of muted, suppressed sadness.

yes, it's autumn, and I'm freaking out. It's just a giant tangle of psychology with me when it comes to autumn.

I loved the contrast in the piece. There are parades of leaves against muddy rivers against burials, against mustard seed (mustard seeds!).

And it's lovely

the symbolism of fall is interesting. nice work.

ah you make fall sound so ugly-sad-mysterious. which is wonderful; everyone is always going on about how wonderful fall is and how pretty. but i like your ideas more; its called fall for a reason. damn right. "to you and me,/ its just the end of a season." great line.

thanks for the flattering review. im flattered n_n.

love, c.induced.

This makes me sad. I'm biased because autumn is my favorite season, but you spelt this out wonderfully. The imagery is so unique. "a parade of leaves, clothed / in their drab autumn coats / burnt sienna and mustard / seed"

marie

I like this. The image I get of dirt sludging is oddly, very poetic to my mind. Good, good stuff.

Just, purly astounded.

So lovely, so powerful, so amazing.

~* Noelle

pretty, but i cannot invision rain on such hot air.not now, maybe later.

(thank you for your input. i make a lot of technical errors and partially i believe that is because i do not care. i dont write to be perfect and i dont check my line style, line endings or lengths. i post them how they come out to me and i rarely change them unless i am going further with them.

i thank you still for your tips, they are very helpful. i dont know if i will use them, i am a bit stubborn on trying to think when i write, habbit.)

This is really very good. I like the how it is more of a passive, observational poem, but you really brought it to life. It was the last two lines that got to me: "a burial/ of sorts, to you and me,/ it’s just the end of a season." Just excellent.

Wow...I'm astounded. This is really beautiful and the format seemed to make it "fall" too. Very vivid and incredible.

This is really nice! The image is so vivid, and the language is lovely. The only thing I would change is how the first sentence is basically a really long, run-on sentence. But you did a really good job!

And thanks so much for your kind words!

This is beautiful.

The way you metered the lines so that the sounds of the words wove themselves into the meanings made me smile and wish for fall.

I love this, and I'm putting it in my favorites, because it's totally worth reading over and over.

:)

WB

P.S. Thank you so much for the kind review and the wonderful compliment in your bio. That really means a lot to me. I'm sorry it took me so long to reply.

that last line reallt sets the piece off, its pretty wicked.WISCONSIN KICKS MAJOR BUTT!