I have to admit: the main reason I read this was because you talked a lot of shit on your profile about writers on this website, and I wanted to judge for myself if you could back it up (which is not to say that the majority of the stories found on here aren't absolute dreck).

These girls are stunning, dynamic, and real. You've created characters that I can relate to, and that so very rarely happens. There's a perfect blend of comedy and sexuality, with nothing appearing over the top. I loved this and, very soon, I plan to get started on your longer works.

So, though I was kinda-sorta hoping you'd be completely awful, you can pretty much talk all the shit you want.

Another brilliant story! -,-

...but then again...

What else can you expect from a legend?

Yup, you sir are freaking legendary!

Haha, yeah I'm part of your cult following -,- (which you have in huge swarms btw!)

All your stories are just so eerily beautiful-sexual-hypnotic.

I mean, talk about Bloody Kisses (Amazing out-of-this-world tale!)

anyway, I'm rambling now -_-... sorry -.-'

Just wanted to tell you that you're a literary tour de force! o,o

erm to be honest, to have an M rating, u atleast need to have some present tense sex u know?

just advise
like the plot
Samantha

Hmn. I'm a bit half-and-half on the whole thing.

On one hand, you have a really good hand on dialogue and actual writing; it makes the progression from one scene to the next smooth, your transition is really excellant.

On the other hand, I have many issues with the way you word certain things. IE: "She wanted to kiss those fluffing lips..."

Lips aren't, and really shouldn't be, fluffy; I get the image you are trying to evoke but other words--synonyms for plump and soft ring to my mind--would creat just as perfect of an image.

All in all, I really enjoyed it. ^__^ I love Betty as a character--she really doesn't seem chubby to me just...gorgeous :3--and I'm particularly impressed by how settled she is, it really makes her everythinh that Alex and Lauren where saying. Times ten, of course.

- Noelle

I think you should continue! :) It's interesting to see what this couple are about to go through. Please continue

hm short, sharp and sassy. Fantastic hun put up some more

A cute ending to a very interesting story. I think Alex & Lauren would make a good couple too, though.. Anyway, the story held my attention well & it was nice that you didn't shy away from sexual details. My only complaint is that at times it was a bit heavy on the adjectives. Damn, I want to go fuck a chubby girl now and I don't have one! .. but yeah. Nicely written =)

This story was great. All of your work is really well written and this one was no exception. I don't have anything clever to say, just... I liked it and I liked this and the characters a lot. Very nice job.

Haha, I liked this. The dialogue had a cereberal golden Hollywood feel to it, very fast paced and intelligent, which was incredibly fun to read if a little less realistic. I loved the girls's "appreciation" of Betty.It might have been better if everyone used a little less 'mind reading', because often you really can't tell what someone else is thinking. All in all, it was a fun story.

I do have one question to ask: what's going to happen next chapter!?

...Just kidding ;)

Heya, Knightmare. Nice job with this oneshot (see, I know it's a oneshot! Ha! I'm so smart!) Anyway, I saw one or two grammatical errors, but they didn't really distract from the story, so I don't care.

I felt quite attached to Betty by the end of this story. She seems to have it together, and that's just the kind of person Laura needs. Betty knows what she wants and how to get it, and Laura's just sex-obsessed and confused. But she seems well on the road to recovery now, and that makes me happy.

You really should keep writing these oneshots. They make me happy (in the pants). Kidding! No, but seriously. Oneshots are awesome, and they're great practice, and you should keep expanding your list! ^__^ I'll be waiting for the next one. Good luck!

~ Roxy