nice personification

I think this has some decent potential, although I think the lines are too long and it's not very "poetic" sounding at times. If you read it out loud the way that it is it might just sound more like a highly metaphorical speech rather than a poem, but I like the potential. Remember that you don't need to write in complete sentences when it comes to a poem!

-KJM-

Excellent! *applaudes*, you've written this well. Keep it up!

~Anna~